Author: Johnnatta Giles

Spirit filled follower of Christ. Wife, Mother, Photographer, Writer and so much more. Follow my blog to learn more about what I share! 💞

His Ways are Higher

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

Scribbles of words run across a dusted yellow page inside a hand me down journal in the hands of a wide eyed little girl. Words are hard to find when your dreams are bigger than you are but I try my best to write them down. I want to be a teacher when I grow up because nothing is more exciting to me than loving children and teaching them as they grow. What an honor to be able to not shape or mold minds, but feed them and watch them transform into the glorious butterflies they are destined to be.

Years flew by before my very little eyes and as I grew up that dream changed multiple times. Dancer, therapist, pediatrician, pediatric dentistry to ministry. I had long forgotten of the days of wanting to teach children just thinking it was never Gods will for me to be in a public school classroom. But God’s ways are higher than our ways. There is always a reason things happen and it may be for a purpose we do not yet know of.

I remember the year my daughter started kindergarten and the fear that gripped me. Will she be cared for properly? Will they teach her well? How will she behave? Underneath the weight of worry there was excitement knowing that she was going to learn despite my fears. I turned my moments of worry into moments of big prayer for her every morning as she rode the bus to school. But a few weeks later the Lord would call me to something I never thought I would do and that was home school my children for the remainder of their education.

Like a wild animal coming back to the place he ate his last meal seeking for the next, fear came over me once again. I don’t always do so well when things change suddenly. I was so afraid I wouldn’t have the capacity or the skills to pull of such a huge task. Where in the world would I get the money and will I have the patience more importantly? Sure enough God came through provided me with everything I needed and then some for our first year together in our little classroom. It was not until we were halfway finished with our school year did I realize that first dream I ever had was after all what God had called me to do but with my own children in our home. I was full of wonder the moment this revelation came forth in my mind. The dream of becoming a teacher was indeed the plan and will of God for me all along! Fear and worry was replaced with worship and thankfulness every start of the school season. My God had came through for me in such an awesome way! As He always does.

No matter what comes this year I want you to know that sometimes things may not go as you expect but there may be a reason for that. Take everything to the Lord and lean on Him for all understanding and He will lead you to still waters in ways you never would have thought. Don’t hinder the dreams of your children and teach them to dream big. One day they may look back and see the faithfulness of God and how He has brought those very things to life in their adult years. Childhood dreams are one way the Lord speaks His will into our lives at a very young age. His ways are higher and greater than ours and I am so thankful they are!

Have a great School Year!

Love

J.S

He is Our Great Reward

Published on by Johnnatta Giles5 Comments

After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision:

“Do not be afraid Abram, I am your shield your very great reward.”

Genesis 15:1

Dear Husband,

I saw you today in a way I have never seen before. You have always been strong, protecting yourself, defending yourself. You’ve spent your life making up for what your mother and father never let you have as a child. The right to have boundaries, the right to feel, the right to be loved.

My heart broke as I watched yours break in the hours leading up to your fathers passing. How could this be what God had intended for you? How could He call you to stay and not go to see him go? Abram. I let you leave with your anger into to the open fields where there was nothing but you , the planted grain and God. I prayed for you in our silent kitchen harder than I ever prayed for you before. Hannah That the Spirit in you would prevail as the flesh was denied. I fought for our home as you wrestled with God like Jacob, just another James, never letting go until He showed up for you.

And so He is. Your true Father fights the battles that you cannot see. He fights the real enemy that wants to devour you with grief and with regret. There was nothing you could do beloved. You cannot make someone love you, choose you. But someone chooses you now and is faithful to you because your faithful to Him. David. Because you choose Him, He will greatly restore all that you have lost. Job. The walls have crashed and He is now building something new in you.

Can you see us there with you? Small hands passing bricks to place on the rock foundation, me clearing out the rubble and passing the new wood for our walls. Building a whole new house of faith as a family that will last into eternity. Despite our parentage, despite our history, we have overcome and now we walk into something we never would have without the God of our youth. Though we have lost much we have gained so much more. Pressed down shaken over for He is our Great Reward.

Love your wife,

Janet Giles

The Purpose of My Work

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

I just wanted to take a moment and say a few things to you guys before I return back to my focus of this site. Anytime I have new readers and I like to retouch on the purpose of why I created My Fathers Symphony. There are many of you from the Minds social media, Pinterest and here on WordPress that I have had recent conversations with about my new posts. I just want you all to know that I write what God wants me to write for your encouragement and potential freedom. I speak on topics that not many Christians hear about or even understand. But sometimes that is the point.

I give you what the Holy Spirit gives me and I encourage you greatly to always always seek out what I write about in the Word of God. I never write about anything I don’t have confirmation from through the Holy Spirit and God’s word. I refuse to regurgitate what pastors and minters say just because they are leaders in a church, if it’s not biblical its not factual. Everything I write on is found in the Word of God rather I write those scriptures in my posts or not. I purposely leave out scripture a large majority of the time in hopes you would do as i did when I was a young Christian, seek God’s word on what it says about everything you read or hear about.

My Fathers Symphony is a place where I share pieces of my heart and spirit with the world through my gifts that God has given me. I am always aiming to get my truth out in hopes it would lead others to their own deliverance and healing from religion, demonic oppression and the over coming of the flesh and many other subjects. These are my stories but you have your own and so let God show you how to receive what He wants for you. My ministry has always had this foundation of truth from the very moment I began :

What does God have to say about it? How does God want to do it for you?

Only He knows all things concerning you and His word is full of confirmations for your own personal walk with Him. Never ever rely on men to fill you up, never rely on men to teach you who God is. For He alone is enough and only He can show you who He is. What He says will always be greater than what others say and it is up to you to find that out with a relationship with Him. When you find out His will for you, follow what God wants for you only! I hope you are encouraged and blessed by my writing and I am always willing to answer questions. But I warn you I like to challenge you to think for yourself. That Bible holds the truth of God and the only way you will receive that truth is by prayer and reading it yourself.

Love

J.S

I am Woman + Who was Eve?

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment
Photo by: My Joy in Mae Creations

After I had my son, whom I thought then would be my final child, I started to hunger for a deeper understanding for what womanhood in Christ really was. Keeping house, submitting to my husband and serving in my church and community, seemed to be what I found every where I searched for this wisdom. But I did all those things and yet who I was as a woman never surfaced inside of me. You see, I had no women to tell me or show me what womanhood was. All my life I longed for an older women to pass on her wisdom to me as I rapidly grew from little girl to young lady in a blink of an eye. To my dismay all the women in my life either abused me, abandoned me or just simply forgot about me.

After becoming a mother and years of healing that lead to many dilverances, I looked to the word of God. I started where a large majority of Christian women are referred to when seeking out this very wisdom, Proverbs 31:10 The Wife Of Noble Character. And although the scripture paints a beautiful description of a women whom embodies virtue, I felt that it isn’t at all what womanhood really is.

My first thought was Eve herself. When I decided to look at Eve I realized, well there’s not much to see. We don’t know nearly as much as I would love to know about both Adam and Eve. I’m nosy that way. So I reread the small part of her story over and over again. Moving onto other scripture sometimes and coming back to hers, and then one day, something captured my attention.

Whats in a name?

“Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all living”

In Genesis 3:20 I notice the first clue about Eve. She didn’t choose her name, but Adam did. I saw the pure reasons why Adam may have given her that name. With my whole heart I believe that he saw her for more than just a partner, a helper or someone he would be intimate with, he saw her as life itself in the flesh. Her name alone must have reminded her every day of the power she held. That power was given to her graciously from her Creator. Despite her betrayal, He made her to do only what He can do and that is the power to create and give life. That humbled my heart. God gave such a magnificent piece of Himself to women what does that say about me as a woman?

Realizing this gave me an appreciation for the fact that I as a women, hold such a powerful gift that no man could ever do, the gift to give life. Not just in child bearing but in heart, body and spirit. It created instantly a pride in me I never possessed before not even after I birthed my own children. Every time I choose to love and nurture another human being on earth I am naturally able to spark life into them. The moment I speak up for the lost and choose to love the broken, life is being created, through love, with each word, and each action.

That’s why its much more natural for us to do because it’s apart of who we are! That was the moment I saw differently how I could impact my household as well. By embracing this gift in me I now know how to pray over myself and my family in times of much needed spiritual warfare. Who says we’re not super woman? Okay maybe not that one but you know what I mean.

The Breath of Life

“With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to her brother Abel.

After reading this scripture in Genesis 4:1-2, I realized Eve knew who her God. She knew that He was her helper and her strength but she also knew by the birth of Abel, that God held their very life in His hands. Abel’s name has been said to mean “Breath” now I believe that’s exactly what it means. But every where I have researched it says his name was given, because like a breath he would not live long. I am not going to go into a rant on that vague speculation. But what I do know is that Eve knew how her own existence came into being.

I know good and well that child birth can give you a whole new perspective on life. It’s terrifying at worse and humbling all around. And I am sure once she went through it under the curse for the second time she knew that God is the giver of life and therefore named her son after the same Spirit that was breathed into her as well. Therefore his name most likely means “Breath” not because of a short life but because of the Life Giver.

Eve knew who her God was and that in Him, He creates life, death, darkness and light. He is able to save and He is able to destroy and there was nothing she went through that had not already passed through His hands. He’s got her back! Though Eve was a woman created to give and create life, she knew that without her God none of it would be possible. These two powerful lessons are the first I have learned about who God made me as a women.

I may have inherited a fallen flesh, but I am a Queen forevermore redeem by my Savior, restored to my former glory through the Creator.

I hold the power of life within myself and I am able to bring that life into my arms and in the world around me.

A power that creates love, unity and justice that leads to humble hearts and stories of forgiveness.

That same power allows me to be the head and never the tail. And to have full authority over everything God places into my hands.

It gives me the ability to no longer be the victim, but the warrior that fights for the freedom of others leading them to their own victory.

All of this is what Eve taught me and the Holy Spirit gave me. This is the woman that God sent his son to die on the cross so that we may be restored back to. Daughters of Zion behold your God and let Him bring you into true womanhood!

J.S

New Section + I Am Woman

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

Last year I turned 30 years old and boy was I excited! I remember when I was a little girl, I always said that my 30’s would be my golden years. I had goals guys, big dreams and big goals. I wanted to be settled down, in my life, in myself and better off than what I was raised in. And I can proudly say that I have achieved that in many different ways. But my plans changed over the years, about 100 times as they do when your young. But as I got to know the real me, I realized that there was much more to womanhood than I knew.

I created the section I Am Woman here on my blog, to share the journey I have had as a christian women in today’s society. A place where I can unload as I continue this journey of womanhood that will go with me even into eternity. I will always be evolving and growing as a women of God and I have daily struggles that will help create the future me. I hope it inspires and blesses all who come across these posts and as always these are my opinions and thoughts. They are meant to encourage and to be shared so if your going through what I am, you know you’re not alone. I can’t promise what’s to come because honestly I don’t know. I will do my best to remain true to my heart and I will always be on the side of truth. May you, through my testimony and God’s love, come to do the same

Daughters of Zion let us all remember that the God of our youth, the God of our being and the God of our hearts, Loves us, Sees us, Hears us and Knows us.

Much Love

J.S

My Joy In Mae Creations Photography https://my-joy-in-mae-creations.business.site/

The Hate I keep

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

From the time I was a young girl and even today I have hated myself. That is common among abused children and it takes us a long time to heal from all the damage to get to a place of self love. But the way the world tells us to love ourselves never works. A career, freedom, fun, self expression and down time does not create love for ourselves.

I know, because I tried it all only to end up hating myself more. The first step to self love is facing your past and owning your truth. Then allowing God to show you where He wants to change you along the way. I serve a wonderful God that wants us to love Him but also wants us to love ourselves. And if I want to love my family well and fully it starts with me. Here I share my past struggles and my present truth. I am learning to face it all so that love for myself will one day be my reality. And if you feel the same too I am praying that very thing for you.

Psalms of my Heart

Who should I be?

Separated from the one who should’ve taught me

She haunts my dreams even today

A bond that never breaks

A face I wanted as my own

Because I never loved the one I owned

Who should I be?

Not the fists that beats me

Or the palms that choke me

I swore one day if I escaped

I would never live in hate

Still the hate showed up

It came without permission

But I kept it without suspicion

Who I am?

My joy or pain became my worth

Changing faster than seasons

Accompanied by fear

This all becomes my identity

And there is no free flying here

Have I come to a point of no return?

Is it inevitable that in the end I become unlovable?

How can I expect anyone to love me?

When the fact remains, that I hate me

To The Church, With Love

Published on by Johnnatta Giles6 Comments
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Long ago I sleepily entered an old church in Downtown Cincinnati. It was Sunday and the early morning dew met with my black dress shoes as I entered the side door. This was not my favorite place. Unwillingly I had been here many times, but I had no idea that day would be different.

As a child church confused me and greatly terrified me. There was never a place more isolating to me than the place of worship. At the start of church we would first gather in the sanctuary. The sanctuary was where I felt more comfortable because the crowds swallowed me up. I could hide and not be seen and blend in. But Sunday school was a whole different story. There was not many kids there and being extremely shy I had not one friend. It was a constant reminder of how alone I really was and brought up my feelings of abandonment.

One Sunday a crowd of kids showed up. It must have been Easter Sunday because that was the only time our Sunday school room was so full. I did as I do in crowds and hid among the many excited kids waiting for the lesson to start. At the end of the presentation the leader began to speak of something I heard every Sunday after the lesson was done. Salvation. But this time my ears were opened and I met my God for the first time.

I received salvation in a baptist church around the age of 7. It was just me and the Lord and no one knew about it. And as I grew up with a new awakened Spirit in me, no one also knew the struggle I had with the church itself. There was my love for it, because it was the only public place I could feel the spirit of God move and hear the word of God preached. The only place I saw people gather and encourage each other no matter how rare those occasions were throughout the year.

But as I grew up, in my heart, there also grew a hatred for it. The pressures each denomination placed on me to be what they said was Holy. The hypocritical people that were open about their sin, causing constant turmoil and pain in the church walls. So at the age 16 I ran away from all forms of congregation. I was angry but in truth, I set off to find out who God was on my own. To this day I have never regretted that.

But when I was 22 years old I rejoined a congregation with my husband and first daughter. That church split and we went with those who left. Soon we were given heartbreaking news that the pastor was giving up. And so I found myself confused and lost not knowing where to go. We eventually settled into a new church home where we served for a few years only to be, this time, called away from that congregation. It was exhausting to say the least. And I see now more than ever, I am not alone in my experiences. I know many of you have been hurt by people in a congregation. And I get that. In fact, it was professing Christians that betrayed me, used me and rejected me.

So believe me when I say I truly understand. I want you to know that your feelings and pain does matter. I would never tell you that your wrong for feeling what you do. But do not let you pain overtake you to the point where you turn your back on God. God is not the church and I can say for a fact that He would never call you anywhere that would hinder your relationship with Him.

I am not saying to do what I did. My family and I chose to do what God called us to do. But what I am saying is, never let the pain of what someone has done to you be the basis of your decisions. My first break from the church was not based off my anger, it was my hunger to know who God really was. As daughters and sons of God, we are to be led by the Spirit not by our feelings. To those who do judge others for leaving the church and never returning, we also have no right to judge what God calls His own to do.

If the Lord calls you to a church I want to share with you what He showed me: Jesus never commands me to be apart of a church. Men may, but He does not. But if He does call me to be apart of a church I have to understand that the church has nothing to do with my relationship with God. A church is a place to serve and do the will of God no matter how I feel about the people there or what they try to do to me. I am there for Him and Him only, therefore my leaving is according to His purpose for me.

Because of me understanding this, I was able to serve in a church with my full heart until I was eventually called away. I will not return to a congregation, not because I have been hurt, but because I go where God leads me only. God is wherever I am and my place of worship is forever held in my heart. Though I was in a church when I received salvation, the fact still remains that it has always been just me and my Abba from the beginning. And that will be all that matters in the end.

With Love,

J.S

The Ocean Valley

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment
When the sea moves back to the deep, I will sink and crash into You

I wrote this on our way home from Virginia, where I learned again to release my control over my life and give it back to God. From recent traumas I had picked back up what I had laid down because of fear. I struggled with myself and God because I lost so much and the thought of letting more go was hard for me to swallow. Before this trip I had been giving Him control again little by little and hoping He would give me mercy. I am so glad He is rich in it because I was struggling so hard with my flesh. But one night on this trip the battle ended and I once again rested in familiar waters. There will be moments like these in our lives. It is important to understand that you are human and will frequently go through trials that may test your faith greatly. You may have to re do some things you’ve already done. But don’t ever think these are setbacks in your faith. For some seasons there may be some familiar bridges we have to cross again, but once you cross them they lead to another place you never were before.

Psalms of My Heart #3

No desire is more greater

Than to be at the shores you call me to

No hunger is more fiercer

Than to be able to climb the mountains where I can hear You

Yes this is where my heart sleeps

Where I lay it all before You

When the sea moves back to the deep

I will sink and crash into You

When I am surrounded by hills in the valley

I will not shake for I choose to see

Only You can make something that beautiful in me

I’m moving from what was

And now I’m accepting what is

I haven’t always listened

But now Lord I am all ears

I have walked far

This journey has been so long

But no matter where I go

No matter what I see

Your home is always where I belong

J.S Giles

When I am surrounded by hills in the valley, I will not shake

No More Tears

Published on by Johnnatta Giles3 Comments

These past three years my family and I have been through the fire. I had hoped that the day the refining was over we would be standing on the mountain refreshed and restored! But the Lord brought us to the valley where our faith was tested. After so much loss and betrayal by the ones we loved, we had a pain that inevitable led us to turn on each other and it threatened the security of our own home. I cried every night for months on end wondering what the Lord was doing and why we were going through this after everything we had been through. Were we called to this exodus only to be brought to destruction? Would the pain tear our little family apart? What about the visions of our future? Where You showed us where You were taking us? How can we get there when we are barely hanging on here?

I was about to give up. I was so sick with worry and pain that I barely had the faith to speak life into my situation. But then the Lord said to me “I only ask you to trust me.” When He said that to me there was no doubt in my mind that was all I had left was trust in my Father. “Yes Lord! I trust you. I put my trust only in You. But that’s all I have.” It took me awhile to fully let go of control but once I did, God moved in our home in a mighty way. One day my husband called me while I was at home and he said something I was not expecting. “Things are going to change and get better from here on out! We take hold of it and believe that’s exactly whats going to happen!” I remember the pain leaving me in that very moment. My husband had took up his authority over his household in the name of Jesus Christ! From that moment on things changed in our marriage and relationship with our children. Our household began to sing again and laughter replaced mourning.

When things are hard in your home and you ask the questions I asked, remember that if God brought you together He knew exactly what you all would walk through. But He also knew what He would do to deliver you from it all. These moments will always come. They have a purpose for something greater you can’t understand now. I could have never known that going through that I would learn some powerful truths about spiritual warfare and prayer that would protect my family and I against the schemes of the enemy. Or I would come to fully understand myself as a fallen woman and how to pray over my own self to be used greatly to change the atmosphere in our home. Going through that season of our lives brought me into what I know now. That God is faithful and what He brings us through as a family is apart of our story and brings us closer to Him. In Him there is no separating us and I do believe that our Clan can do anything in His name! He is truly the breath of our lives and I am so grateful that my days now end in praise and no longer in tears.

Our God Delivers

Our God is Faithful

Our God is Greater

May God restore your family according to His will and in His timing in Jesus Christ’s name. So Be It.

Mental Health In Christ

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

I don’t think I have ever mentioned this on my blog before and forgive me if I have, but I have struggled with mental illness since I was just a toddler. My medical records state that I started showing signs of depression at 4 years old and would often go into “my own world” I received therapy only to eventually be given up on because of never speaking. They always said I was just “really shy” and “very well behaved.” Everyone loved a child like me back in the children are to be seen not heard era. But I wasn’t shy I was afraid, alone and in constant turmoil.

When I think back to those years It angers me greatly. I can’t help but think how many other little ones have or are going through this and not getting the help they need from the people who are supposed to be helping them. I am always brought to tears and I pray for them often. The lost children are not only the ones that are physically lost from their homes, but also those who are lost within the walls of a place that is supposed to be their home. I have hope through my testimonies that adults and children like me will not only now there is a way to be healed fully but also that they are never alone.

May you come to know the Lords love for you and receive the hope that sets men truly free.