I hope your new year has been a whole lot better than the previous year has been. Many things are happening in our society and I feel led to speak on some of those things through the Holy Spirit in me. So I will be sharing my videos again here with you guys for anyone who want to watch, pray, and discuss these topics on my channel.
The news of Cheslie Kryst led me to making this video to all of you who may be going through something silently and alone. This could have been my headline when I was 20 years old. I just want you all to know your never alone. At the end I take a moment to pray.
My heart goes out to her grieving family and I am praying for them. WordPress no longer supports video embedding unless you pay for it. So you will have to click the photo to watch the video on Rumble. Have a great weekend!
Not too long ago I turned 33. WHOO HOO! I spent my time reflecting, breathing and being alone with my family in my favorite place, Gatlinburg Tennessee. Today I found this draft that I started a year ago but it never was finished. But sometimes it’s just not the right time. Today I finished it and I want to share it with you.
Loving All Of Me
The night has ended and as I go about my routine getting ready for bed and doing last minute chores the silence of the night has got me thinking. In the middle of a conversation with the Lord while hanging up my clothes, in my thoughts a truth has surfaced that I never really realized until that night. I have only been on this self love journey for two weeks now but man is the Lord doing a great work in me. Sometimes the discovery of these truth inside of me bring joy and more acceptance of who I really am and other times they reveal confusing sad realities.
When I was younger I struggled with anxiety and depression because of the constant abuse. Sometimes the way I would get through those episodes I would say “I am Beautiful.” I thought if I believed I was beautiful I could love myself even though no one else did. I learned at an earlier age that words were powerful. This was my way of attempting to instill something better in myself than I was getting from those in my household. But sometimes words are just words. Without the right heart they float out empty and void. Blowing to the wind and never giving life nor darkness. For how I can believe I am beautiful but not love myself? How is it that a women can undeniable believe that she is beautiful, inside and out, but hate herself at the same time?
I stop for a second. Not sure I even know this answer as I am writing it but trusting that the Holy Spirit will give me the wisdom to my sad reality. The answers points back to the why that explains the how. Why do we believe that beauty brings self acceptance and love? Because the world tells us it does from the moment we are young. How many of us dive for the new make up trends, the new way to dress, the new way to act or carry ourselves to make us believe “I love me.”. Oh yes girl I believe it! Look at how much I love me! How many of us buy the clothes that gives pieces of our bodies away in an attempt to outwardly say I am proud of my body so I am going to show it. If you got, flaunt it!
When we have done all we can to convince ourselves that we are beautiful and those things become to us what self love is, it’s just another way of hiding the fact that both inwardly and outwardly when we truly look at ourselves we do not love what we see.
Let’s stop trying to love ourselves and start doing it. Ready set break it. Break the lies, break the masks, break through the mold that you have created and let yourself stand before God, naked and true. All that you are. And He will come by and see you there, cover you with cloth, feed you with truth and then one day, you will be able to stand and to be clothed in splendor. I’m ready for that, are you?
And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you, ‘Live!” Yes, I said to you in your blood, “Live!” I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured and became very beautiful. Your breast were formed and bare. When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love, so I spread my wings over you and covered your nakedness. Yes I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you and you became Mine says The Lord God. Then I washed you in water, yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood and I anointed you with oil. I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin. I clothed you in fine linen and covered you in silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embordered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful and succeeded to royalty.
Ezekiel 16:6-13
Our self love journey starts with self acceptance not self worship. When we really face all that we are He will be there to build is back up again. From the inside out. This is my current reality. Something I am now facing but not sure when I will be able to truly say “I love me.” This is my season. To accept all of me so one day I can become the best in me.
They say you can’t love unless you first love yourself. But is that true? My first lesson to you is self love. You know, I loved my first born daughter before I loved myself, I loved my husband and married him because of that love before I loved myself and I loved God all my life while unknowingly withholding love for myself at the same time. Love is is such a mystery who can understand it? It can be given in a heart that is full of fear, anger and distrust. But that love is never whole. Whitney Houston said it best that the greatest love of all is learning how to love ourselves. So my ladies take a moment and write down all the good and bad that you are:
Get quiet and alone. In the mornings, evenings , on a lunch break or any quiet time
Accept the written words. Even the ones you want to one day change. Because acceptance is the start of new beginnings.
Decide to begin to love yourself more.
Everyday read what you have wrote and confess them out loud.
Take a breath and breathe in those words. Speak honest affirmations about who you are and who you want to become. because your words are powerful. What you say and think about yourself moves mountains in you and around you.
When we begin to love ourselves again so much begins to change in us and around us. Rather we realize it or not the pit of despair, negativity and self doubt eats away at our lives leaving us void of joy and shrinks us down into depression. I have came a long way but this exercise helps me get my mind back in focus with reality when my insecurities begin to creep back in. It’s still a struggle for me years after starting my own self love journey. But it was a journey worth taking.
At Living Woman Ministries I advocate for natural birth control. This is one of my popular videos as more and more women are trying to figure out how they can get off hormonal birth control for overall health. to achieve pregnancy and as well as avoid pregnancy. This is a simple way that I avoid pregnancy through charting. I will have more videos coming soon on this topic!
I am excited to share my first ever ministry video forLivingWoman+ The Real On Womanhood. It took a lot of courage to study these coming subjects and challenge modern Christian doctrine in order to bring us back to original will of God for womanhood. I hope it inspires you to seek the truth in your own walk with the Lord and as always never take my word for it! Get out your Bible, be led by the Holy Spirit and do your research! May God bless you!
In 2014 late spring my barefoot feet was standing in Kentucky’s green grass months before my second daughter was due. I held my belly as I looked out into my neighbor’s field in deep thought. My heart was hurting because of what I was hearing from other women what I was experiencing as a woman in this world. Why is it we are suffering the way that we are in this day in age? Why does it seem like we are more oppressed than ever?
Now hold up. Don’t for one second think I am joining the new age feminist train. There is a real oppression that woman are facing and it all has to do with spiritual warfare. We see it in society where doctor’s are no longer assisting us but lording over us in health care, society attacking any form of biblical womanhood, false promises to woman empowerment through the killing of our children, men claiming to be women, and women oppressing other women.
The real enemy to womanhood is sin. And so as I stood there my heart was broken and I felt a strong urge to speak. There was something better and so much more powerful than what we have in the world. And I wanted all woman to know that in Christ they can be redeemed. That although we may not be able to fully return back to pureness of Eden physically, we can spiritually.
A year later God whispered into my ear and spoke His will for me if I would let Him lead me in this. With no understanding of how He would do this through me, but willing to be used anyway I said “Here I am Lord.” To stand in the gap in this day in age is dangerous but my God is much more powerful than any dark forces coming against me!
Is it not time women that we stop getting pieces of the pie? Who wants the whole thing? Who is hungry for it all? The fullness of health , wholeness and TRUE empowerment. It is found in the King of Kings. The Lion that died as a lamb, to restore you back to the Glory you had before the fall and to call you His own once again.
I created this ministry for the woman who are looking for that hope. The hope of something better. But I am here to tell you that it can’t be achieved fully without Him. I refuse to dilute or take the gospel away from what I am doing. Because no one will do what He can do for you. I want you to know the truth and it is only found in God alone. Only He can heal you from every sickness and disease. Only He can mend and care for your broken heart. Only He can set you up high and bring you into every prosperity that He promises for those who love Him. Only He can give you love for eternity.
May God be with me as I walk off this ledge no longer afraid to fall. I know who holds me up. And He is alive in me.
+ The Ministry was named after Eve for her name means “Living” We were made to be truly alive but we can only obtain life through Jesus Christ. In Him we find what real womanhood is.
+ Inspiration and empowerment are the focal points of this Ministry. The aim is to be honest and fully transparent on issues concerning women. At the moment I chronicle my struggles with conception this season in my life. The struggles of infertility is real these days and sharing my journey is my personal “I understand” to you. I advocate for fertility awareness, natural womanhood and share charting wisdom. There will be more on mental illness and spirituality to come.
+ Spiritual redemption is the center of this ministry because without it we can not achieve true healing and empowerment.
The section on this blog “I am Woman” will be now be changed to “Living woman -The Real On Womanhood.” This is where I will write and share videos as well.
This ministry is in the baby stages and I am faithfully trusting God to lead me where He wants to take it. My aim is to only do God’s will for me and to run my race with integrity and honor for my Abba, my King, my Savior.
After I had my son, whom I thought then would be my final child, I started to hunger for a deeper understanding for what womanhood in Christ really was. Keeping house, submitting to my husband and serving in my church and community, seemed to be what I found every where I searched for this wisdom. But I did all those things and yet who I was as a woman never surfaced inside of me. You see, I had no women to tell me or show me what womanhood was. All my life I longed for an older women to pass on her wisdom to me as I rapidly grew from little girl to young lady in a blink of an eye. To my dismay all the women in my life either abused me, abandoned me or just simply forgot about me.
After becoming a mother and years of healing that lead to many dilverances, I looked to the word of God. I started where a large majority of Christian women are referred to when seeking out this very wisdom, Proverbs 31:10 The Wife Of Noble Character. And although the scripture paints a beautiful description of a women whom embodies virtue, I felt that it isn’t at all what womanhood really is.
My first thought was Eve herself. When I decided to look at Eve I realized, well there’s not much to see. We don’t know nearly as much as I would love to know about both Adam and Eve. I’m nosy that way. So I reread the small part of her story over and over again. Moving onto other scripture sometimes and coming back to hers, and then one day, something captured my attention.
Whats in a name?
“Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all living”
In Genesis 3:20 I notice the first clue about Eve. She didn’t choose her name, but Adam did. I saw the pure reasons why Adam may have given her that name. With my whole heart I believe that he saw her for more than just a partner, a helper or someone he would be intimate with, he saw her as life itself in the flesh. Her name alone must have reminded her every day of the power she held. That power was given to her graciously from her Creator. Despite her betrayal, He made her to do only what He can do and that is the power to create and give life. That humbled my heart. God gave such a magnificent piece of Himself to women what does that say about me as a woman?
Realizing this gave me an appreciation for the fact that I as a women, hold such a powerful gift that no man could ever do, the gift to give life. Not just in child bearing but in heart, body and spirit. It created instantly a pride in me I never possessed before not even after I birthed my own children. Every time I choose to love and nurture another human being on earth I am naturally able to spark life into them. The moment I speak up for the lost and choose to love the broken, life is being created, through love, with each word, and each action.
That’s why its much more natural for us to do because it’s apart of who we are! That was the moment I saw differently how I could impact my household as well. By embracing this gift in me I now know how to pray over myself and my family in times of much needed spiritual warfare. Who says we’re not super woman? Okay maybe not that one but you know what I mean.
The Breath of Life
“With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to her brother Abel.
After reading this scripture in Genesis 4:1-2, I realized Eve knew who her God. She knew that He was her helper and her strength but she also knew by the birth of Abel, that God held their very life in His hands. Abel’s name has been said to mean “Breath” now I believe that’s exactly what it means. But every where I have researched it says his name was given, because like a breath he would not live long. I am not going to go into a rant on that vague speculation. But what I do know is that Eve knew how her own existence came into being.
I know good and well that child birth can give you a whole new perspective on life. It’s terrifying at worse and humbling all around. And I am sure once she went through it under the curse for the second time she knew that God is the giver of life and therefore named her son after the same Spirit that was breathed into her as well. Therefore his name most likely means “Breath” not because of a short life but because of the Life Giver.
Eve knew who her God was and that in Him, He creates life, death, darkness and light. He is able to save and He is able to destroy and there was nothing she went through that had not already passed through His hands. He’s got her back! Though Eve was a woman created to give and create life, she knew that without her God none of it would be possible. These two powerful lessons are the first I have learned about who God made me as a women.
I may have inherited a fallen flesh, but I am a Queen forevermore redeem by my Savior, restored to my former glory through the Creator.
I hold the power of life within myself and I am able to bring that life into my arms and in the world around me.
A power that creates love, unity and justice that leads to humble hearts and stories of forgiveness.
That same power allows me to be the head and never the tail. And to have full authority over everything God places into my hands.
It gives me the ability to no longer be the victim, but the warrior that fights for the freedom of others leading them to their own victory.
All of this is what Eve taught me and the Holy Spirit gave me. This is the woman that God sent his son to die on the cross so that we may be restored back to. Daughters of Zion behold your God and let Him bring you into true womanhood!
Last year I turned 30 years old and boy was I excited! I remember when I was a little girl, I always said that my 30’s would be my golden years. I had goals guys, big dreams and big goals. I wanted to be settled down, in my life, in myself and better off than what I was raised in. And I can proudly say that I have achieved that in many different ways. But my plans changed over the years, about 100 times as they do when your young. But as I got to know the real me, I realized that there was much more to womanhood than I knew.
I created the section I Am Woman here on my blog, to share the journey I have had as a christian women in today’s society. A place where I can unload as I continue this journey of womanhood that will go with me even into eternity. I will always be evolving and growing as a women of God and I have daily struggles that will help create the future me. I hope it inspires and blesses all who come across these posts and as always these are my opinions and thoughts. They are meant to encourage and to be shared so if your going through what I am, you know you’re not alone. I can’t promise what’s to come because honestly I don’t know. I will do my best to remain true to my heart and I will always be on the side of truth. May you, through my testimony and God’s love, come to do the same
Daughters of Zion let us all remember that the God of our youth, the God of our being and the God of our hearts, Loves us, Sees us, Hears us and Knows us.
From the time I was a young girl and even today I have hated myself. That is common among abused children and it takes us a long time to heal from all the damage to get to a place of self love. But the way the world tells us to love ourselves never works. A career, freedom, fun, self expression and down time does not create love for ourselves.
I know, because I tried it all only to end up hating myself more. The first step to self love is facing your past and owning your truth. Then allowing God to show you where He wants to change you along the way. I serve a wonderful God that wants us to love Him but also wants us to love ourselves. And if I want to love my family well and fully it starts with me. Here I share my past struggles and my present truth. I am learning to face it all so that love for myself will one day be my reality. And if you feel the same too I am praying that very thing for you.
Psalms of my Heart
Who should I be?
Separated from the one who should’ve taught me
She haunts my dreams even today
A bond that never breaks
A face I wanted as my own
Because I never loved the one I owned
Who should I be?
Not the fists that beats me
Or the palms that choke me
I swore one day if I escaped
I would never live in hate
Still the hate showed up
It came without permission
But I kept it without suspicion
Who I am?
My joy or pain became my worth
Changing faster than seasons
Accompanied by fear
This all becomes my identity
And there is no free flying here
Have I come to a point of no return?
Is it inevitable that in the end I become unlovable?
You must be logged in to post a comment.