Category: Uncategorized

The Power Of Fathers

Published on by Johnnatta Giles4 Comments

Everything changed when your little baby was born and I bet your mind is racing with questions and wonder all at once! What do I need to do to protect them? Will this change things between their mom and I? How do I as a dad bond with my baby? 

Dad’s matter!

We’re here to answer in part the last question. Over the generations society has failed in educating and advocating for father’s when it comes to bonding with their babies. All too often they are treated as the extra person in the room. But you’re not! You are just as important as mom is! Father bonding can look similar to how mom bonds but when dad’s do it he adds his own uniqueness to it. That is because men are greatly different from women, physically mentally and in personality.  Here are some suggestions that you may have heard of but with a twist toward how dads may do it. And feel free to add more onto the list! 

Skin to skin with dad

Skin to skin refers to when you place a baby up against your bare chest allowing your skin and baby’s skin to touch underneath a blanket. It isn’t just a great way for Mom to bond with baby and enhances both her health and babies health and recovery but it’s great for men too! 

According to this study Effects of Father-Neonate Skin-t o-Skin Contact on Attachment: A Randomized Controlled Trial men and babies benefit from this special time, increasing you and your baby’s attachment relationship. Try skin to skin when Mom needs a rest postnatal or right before bedtime! Tell your little one about your glory days, you’re favorite football team or the day you met mommy. If you’re not quite sure what to say yet just know at newborn stage you’re presence is enough. Just resting in the silence with your baby gives them all they need.

Burping after breastfeeding 

If your baby is bottle fed, feeding your baby is one way to join in on bonding time. But when mom breastfeeds for obvious reasons you can’t quite help with that. But when Mom is done breastfeeding you can take the baby to help them burp after each feeding of both breasts. Mom feeds on one side, you burp baby, then mom feeds on another side, then you burp baby. Burping is always seen on television as the calm before the storm of vomit. But take it from the baby’s perspective how comforting and relaxing a nice massage is! And your strong but gentle hands are much different from moms. This aides in helping baby identify you uniquely. Don’t underestimate how smart they are, the more you have physical touch with them the more they’ll attach to you and know your their daddy!

Morning Praise 

Far too often we forget how powerful praise and affirmations are. Especially as parents. Taking a moment to send up praises, thanksgiving and worship to God every morning brings in a sunshine for the day even cloudy days couldn’t hinder! From the moment I knew I was carrying my little ones I praised God every morning. When they were born I sang a little hymn as I got them dressed for their day or began breakfast. Your baby will treasure their daddy’s praises and foster a sense of humbleness and thankfulness as they grow up. Even if it’s just a few words of thanksgiving, it’s bound to bring memories for years to come!

Diaper Idol 

When it comes to men they have a great ability at making the most random things fun. Even changing diapers! Some babies absolutely hate getting changed but when dad turns into his own rock show who can resist? Or even a play by play of a basketball game. It’s bound to be the funniest clean up ever! Hearing your voice and your own personality helps baby to feel bonded with you specifically. And the caregiver aspect of diaper changing lets them know you are there to fulfill their needs just as much as mom is. That double sense of security is everything for an infant!

Nap master

Babies take a ton of naps and so there is plenty of chances for you to hold baby and help them drift off to sleep. Dads can either implement skin to skin and rocking the baby to sleep, singing a lullaby or reading the baby a book. Though it may seem silly that a baby would care about all of this remember, your baby is bonding to your voice and presence, not the story of a book.

Pushing the stroller

Moms enjoy being hands on with their babies but sometimes they need a moment to just be in their own autonomy. Whenever you go out put baby in the stroller and push the stroller. When it’s time to head back into the car give your girl a kiss, open the door for her to get in, then put that sweetheart of yours back in the car seat as well. It’s not embarrassing to be a father in public. It’s a great honor and only you can do it! 

Tummy time play

Tummy time is a very important aspect of infant development. Tummy time not only helps strengthen babies back and neck muscles  but also ensures that they do not get what is called “flat head”. You can either do tummy time on your chest of flat on the floor.  Infants do not always enjoy this exercise but with your dad skills you can make it more enjoyable. Root on your little one and make a game of it! Put baby down on their tummy for about 5 seconds pick them up and tickle, giggle or give them a swosh right back down on their tummy again. Do this for about a minute and then allow your baby to do tummy time on their own for the remainder of the time. We never did tummy time for ten minutes. We just did 5 minutes on the chest at one point in the day and about a handful of minutes on the floor. At the end of the day the goal is just to make sure baby isn’t on their backs for too long. And adding a fun element will help baby not feel so stressed out. 

Dinner champion

This is an obvious one but taking up the first night feeding is a great way to bond with baby. It’s soothing and relaxing to a baby to have a night routine and it’s a beautiful thing that the baby will eventually associate their daddy to their nighttime feedings when you do them every night. How awesome is it to give your baby that security knowing it came right from their papa! 

Bedtime Prayer

One of my favorite ways my husband has bonded with his children is bedtime prayers. There is something beautiful and unique about a father praying with his baby. You can actually start this when baby is in the womb before they are born. And once baby is here keep up the tradition in leading in prayer with you, mom and baby. Once your baby begins to sleep in their own bed continue to say a prayer before you lay them down. As your little ones grows they will join in on that prayer with dad. It’s a special precious time that is yours alone together with God! 

Car rides with Daddy

Many people have found memories of when their dad took them on car rides growing up. Don’t think your baby doesn’t notice when it’s just you two alone. They definitely do! Having that alone time out and about doing things together is a perfect way to bond with each other. Remember this isn’t just about baby bonding to you but you bonding with your baby. The more you interact (especially alone) with your baby the more attached you feel as a father. And if your baby is breastfed, contrary to what you may think baby doesn’t have to stay with mom always. You’ve got two hours before the little one needs to be fed again if they are exclusively breastfed and a quick trip is perfect for bonding time out of the house. Pick one thing to do that’s takes less than an hour including driving time. Grocery shopping, heading to the bank or a trip to the post office offers short ways to spend some time with your baby. Of course if they are bottle fed or mom pumps all need is formula and enough breast milk to feed your little one and you could take baby off mom’s hands for even longer. But don’t leave for too long Mom needs bonding time too! 

As you do activities with your baby, communicate with your baby and care for your baby the more you build memories and attachment you both need in this new walk of life that is fatherhood. We hope these ideas are a good jump start to creating a long lasting bond with your baby that is unique and yours alone! 

Father reading to his daughters

Thank YOU To Helpful Dads!

Published on by Johnnatta Giles4 Comments

“What is wrong with me?” I cry out.  My husband asks am I okay. I tell him that every night I’ve been feeling sick.. He says, “Go sit down and let me take care of this” . As he continues to prep and cook dinner, I without one second of protest walk into my room and tipped toed fall onto my bed. As I lay I can feel the pain and nausea melt away minute by minute. I’m exhausted. I’ve done too much on too little sleep. As I lay back I’m thanking God for the help my husband gives me. Without his willingness to help me whenever I need it, I don’t know how I could get through my days.

To my brothers, fathers. husbands and all that you are to the women in your life,

Rather she says it or not she needs you. A little help goes such a long way for us. Some of us (me included) enjoy being a mom and doing all the things that come with it. Sometimes that joy can blind us to our own exhaustion or even pain. We need to be seen too sometimes. We need for someone to see our needs before we know we need help like we do for everyone else every day. I’m not saying read her mind or she shouldn’t ever have to vocalize her needs, but be proactive sometimes. We need someone to step in and just stand beside us so we can have help too. And guys, please if you can do it within 15 minutes of us asking that would be great! Even if it’s to dry the dishes or prep the food. We need you. Can you bathe a baby while mom cooks? Or help your son fold clothes properly so mom doesn’t have to fix it later because… he’s learning. She would love to finish a chapter in her book instead of going back over the laundry later to make sure it fits properly.

To you it may just look like a stack of cotton towels, but to her, it’s her home. A home in which she has worked years to create and she is proud of every bit of it. As man and women we have different perspectives on life. That’s what makes us work so well together when we humble ourselves and be each other’s help mate’s. Thank you to all the men that do this already, keep it up dude! This life can throw the worst curveballs and she will always need you! But for those of you that don’t quite know what to do, from a mother and wife I hope this little letter helps you see her a bit  differently.

Your help changes everything in a day.! This life is so short to live it stuck in traditions of old. The past holds many treasure but also contains harmful cultures we shouldn’t be so quick to return to. This generation is changing things for the better! Let’s keep that going because a family that works together is so much stronger than ones that work among each other but separate. We as the new generation of parents can do it better and reap the rewards of a home with partners. And how much more will our children benefit from seeing both mom and dad working together for the common good of their lives? The rewards are powerful and endless! Thank you to all the dads that truly gets this!

A tree growing in a rock

Let Us Be Determined

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments
A tree growing among rocks
A tree doing what it was created to do though it is surrounded by hard circumstances.

I grew up in a small town in Cincinnati Ohio. There wasn’t much there but friends, families and community. In elementary I wanted so badly to beat the school record for climbing rope. While everyone dreaded it every year, I was excited to try it again.  One year our teacher (mostly likely wanting to inspire us to have fun) told us that the record had been held years before we were even born. This peeked our interest.  All of a sudden I was determined to break that record! The third try I studied the way every person climbed and especially those who made it. I took note the shoes they wore and the way their hands gripped the rope. But when it came time for me I failed only reaching halfway.  I was frustrated. My secret goal was hidden from my class because now this was something personal. The next year I was determined to beat that record. I showed up with the right shoes and the mental notes in my head.  As soon as I heard the word “GO” every grip was intentional and I made sure to maintain my speed.  At the top I pushed myself harder than I had ever done.  At the least I would reach the top of this thing! My class was cheering as I did. I finally reached the top! But I forgot to to watch how everyone slid down and I ended up burning my hands. Thank goodness I had jeans on! As soon as my feet hit the floor my gym teacher called out that I had beaten the old record that had stood there since before I arrived at that school! I was shocked and so proud! It was the first time in my life that I realized that I had the power to do what I set my mind to do. I may not always win but my greatest victory was seeing that my hard work produced character and belief in myself.

But in Christ I ALWAYS win.

Brothers and sisters when we see people being bold in ungodliness and determined no matter the backlash to continue to attack and disrupt what is good, why don’t we fight back? Why are we not as determined as they are when we have the wings of thousands upon thousands of angels behind us pushing us forward to do amazing things to combat the darkness? We have the gifts to give children something better than what is in front of them. We have the strength to go the distance because our faith doesn’t rest alone in ourselves but a mighty King that has already over come it all! Rise up I say and be determined to do something instead of shaking your head in disgust. Rise up and allow God to change you so He can use you and watch lives get changed. You can believe in yourself because He is there in you!

God is calling His people out. Come forth and share your gifts! Be apart of the life giving saving grace that is in Christ. Share with the world the light of God through who He made you to be. Be determined to shine and do not fail in doing so! No darkness can overcome the light. Because he has overcome the world you too are an overcomer!

Be bold lions and lionesses of God and go forth in His love. It’s not over yet and He’s not done. Not with the world and not with you!

Shalom

Johnnatta

A woman is earnestly praying

Look Up Because There Your God Is

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

Vulnerability is probably not my favorite thing in the world. But it seems I am much better at writing out my vulnerabilities than I am speaking them. And some how some way the Lord uses it in ministry. How many of us are going through the Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego fire these days? It’s getting really hot and I’m getting tired of it. Everywhere I turn there is yet something happening. I have been working on using my phone less and focusing more and more on prayer in my spare time. Our bills are going up and I am on my knees begging God for a way over these mountain. I’m either going over or through it! I’m too tired to walk around it. After the tears I began to do what many may deem the oddest thing.

I laughed.

I laughed so hard right in the face of the enemy and told him, no matter what you and your cohorts are up to my God is greater in me than he that is in the world! And guess what? That’s you! He’s greater than all of this and He has already made a way for us to escape this. I got up and started doing some work. When I finished that I went outside and replaced an alternator on my car with my husband and rested for the rest of the night. I was tempted to fall on my face and began crying again but I refused and just confessed peace. I cannot even lie to you, this is a hard time we are living in. But you can also see it as this: an opportunity to test your faith in the Lord. Do you know the Lord says he wants to “test” our faith that it may be refined? Many times people look at testing as overcoming trials but when God speaks of testing, His saying “I want to put this gold in the fire and make it even prettier than it is. I want to make it shine so much that it radiates light!” It’s so we can get stronger, for the message to become clearer in us and that we would not easily be broken. When our faith becomes stronger we can begin to see the mountains before us fall and provisions come we never thought possible. I keep imagining the hands of Jesus in Matthew 17:24-27 holding that coin that Peter took out of that fish’s mouth. Lord if you can provide like that for your son and I am his heir you’ll take care of me too! Brothers and siters have faith! It may be your day off because of the Holiday but make sure you don’t take a day off with Him. Give Him more of your time in this hard season. Praise the Lord in the storms and laugh at the devil because he holds no power over God’s people! And when you get up you’ll begin to watch that mountain fall in the most glorious way. I believe it. Do you?

Much love

Johnnatta

a family hugging each other

My Children Behave ( Mostly) and This Is Why

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

Yes I’m coming to you with a bold title today because for years I’ve had at this point hundreds of people that have came up to us to tell us how well behaved our kids are. For sometime now I’ve been wanting to write this post but of course when your raising 6 children and living life time gets away with you. Here is just a small bit of advice from a mom of 16 years. Let me take you back in time to the foundations of why our kids are so well behaved (mostly).

Kids will be kids but the love of God is powerful!

My husband and I became parents before we became newlyweds. The pregnancy of our daughter inspired us to change our ways and begin to put God first in our life indefinitely. When she was born that devotion continued and January 2011 we went to church together for the first time as a family. She was only two months old! That local church had family programs then and we started to attend one of them. This was a parenting class based of the book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” which changed both our perspectives on parenting and revealed many failures of our own parentage. We wanted to raise her for the Lord and that meant we had to look at things differently. And so we did. I joke in passing with people when they comment on the behavior of our children and say “We raise them the old school ways!” And in part we do. Many parents from the past generations of this country raised their children based off biblical principles. Children also grew up using the Bible to learn how to read in schools. So many were raised on those moral principles growing up in public and at home. But we took it a step further and wanted to make sure our children were never taught religion. We wanted them to know the full truth of the gospel. Both my husband and I are Christians that have submitted our lives to Jesus Christ, water baptized and baptized in the Holy Spirit. Every Sunday breakfast we read the Word and discuss what it says. We ask them their opinions and we also use the world around them to bring homes these truths. That right there is apologetics in action! We are also honest with our children about spiritual matters. Because like the word says, “We wrestle not against flesh and blood.”

Our kids have loved the Lord since they were babies and they know their God. They know when they pray He hears them. This is something we’ve also taught them since birth but even in their own relationships they have seen first hand. He speaks to them and they hear. They ask Him and He provides. They praise Him and they begin to see more and more. All through their own personal relationship with Him. Some of favorite memories will always be me whispering a song to my babies about how much God loves them, sees them and is with them. They desire more of Him and they know they must do their part. One of my favorite verses that they know well is when God spoke to Cain. “If you do what is right and you will be accepted.” My kids want Him more than they want anything on this earth. And they know when they fall into sin that will only bring them farther away from God.

Our kids were given the foundation that both their parents had with the Lord. Pure love. We taught our kids that not only was God Holy but that He loved them, wanted to know them and He was their friend. They were raised in a home full of worship, prayer and dedicated parents who loved the WORD. Our eldest daughter is water baptized and baptized in the Holy Spirit, the next 3 after her have been water baptized and the babies are still growing in body and spirit. They love God more than they love us and that is all I have ever prayed for! He is and will always be their greatest love!

Discipline is a must for growing children!

Let’s talk about one of the most controversial subjects concerning childrearing. Discipline. No matter what your stance is on discipline it must be done in the interest of creating character, self control, emotional control and wisdom. This is something that can make or break a functioning adult one day. Whenever it comes time to discipline our kids from toddlerhood we taught them the principles in the book we read that, their behavior not only affects them, but the people around them and their relationship with the Lord. They know when they are disobedient to us they are also being disobedient to God. Because they love Him and trust us to do His will only they have always understood this. In order for this to remain true it was highly important that we raised them according to Gods word, not our feelings, not what was trending and not what anyone else thought we should or shouldn’t do. They are also taught when they misbehave in public it is disrespectful to the people around them. Example: this is not your store to do as you please. The people in this restaurant are having a nice peaceful dinner and you are disrupting that. The hospital is full of patients resting and healing you are not to act a fool and disrupt that. These things though are only taught depending on the age. Because a baby is a baby and has every right to cry in public and when toddler is tired they are tired. But when a child is old enough to know better they are taught to be mindful of the people around them and have respect for others.

Though we are not perfect we do make every effort to lead our kids towards righteous no matter what. We raise them according to who God says each individual child is and we discipline them according to their own needs personality wise. As I said before we are not perfect so the times we do mess up we quickly repent to them for it and ask for forgiveness. Because of these things our children have a innate understanding that we are not hurting them or taking from them but helping move their hearts towards God’s will and therefore they receive either blessings or punishments based on that alone. Our kids know deeply we love them and we have a established a deep trust which in turn creates respect for us with them and them with us.

Even a child will reap what they sow

Oftentimes people think that because children are small and young their mistakes will not necessarily translate to big consequences. Many times I hear people say “They are just a kid it’s not that big of a deal!” But kids learn in those moments what they will get away with and what they won’t. There is room for grace with a child but it shouldn’t be handed out so easily or frequently. On the other side good behavior should always be praised and sometimes rewarded! I learned a long time ago to not frequently give rewards every time because my kids started doing things just to get in the treat bucket! So I began to reward them for only certain things. My kids know the simple truth of what you sow you shall reap. My four year old was in trouble about two week ago and I bent down to her level and explained to her, when you choose to do what is wrong you choose to gain what is bad. But if you choose to do what is right then you receive rewards of good things. In order to help her understand this before her four year old brain forgot it, the next time she chose to do what was right I repeated it to her and then gave her a treat. That specific thing she was getting in trouble with she no longer does anymore. This mama helped her at her level overcome! My older kids are different. When you get teens a lot of things you did when they were younger just won’t work. From the time my eldest was a toddler she hated to sweat. She would be running around having a good time and start sweating and stop and want to go in the house! To this day she doesn’t like it much so when she was in trouble about a few years ago I had her run three laps around the house. That worked for her, I honestly have not done it since but it’s still in my arsenal in case I need it! In addition, all of my kids understand the elementary truth of sin and righteousness. We are teaching our children to hunger after righteousness and then making a point to give them real life rewards when they do. A trip to get ice cream, go to the park, go see a theater production and even vacations! They get to live the good life when they choose to do good things! We of course have a reward system for our kids and their chores but we make sure they know that is a privilege and can be taken at anytime if bad behavior persists. What we will not do is take away anything that is helping them develop their God given gifts. One of my kids plays piano and we will not keep her from her lessons if she is in trouble because we know the Lord has called her to that and she has a great gif for it. But she loves to mess around with a camera I gave her. And when she is in trouble we take back the camera for a little while. Discipline no matter what must be done with great discernment.

They truly know we love them deeply

I always said I spoil my babies with love! All of my kids get many kisses and hugs. We tell them daily we love them and make a point when they are succeeding to tell them how proud we are of the. When arguments arise we make sure we are fair and stand up for the ones that have been wronged. We choose them over what the world thinks and says and we defend them with a fierceness in spite of it. We share with them our faults, our prayers (answered and unanswered) and our mistakes. They know us and know we love them for who they are. I wish I could tell you we do all of this based off of some human wisdom and revelation but we couldn’t do any of it without the strength and leading of the living spirit within us. So I leave you with this. Instead of wondering why your kids do not behave think about what it is you can do to change and redeem yourself back to your children. What can you do from then on to foster mutual respect, authority, love and meaningful relationship? I’ll give you the only thing I know that works.

Jesus

As their mother I have always went by these three Ps: persistence, patience and prayer. I have always been persistent with my kids I have always been patient with them and when they are struggling to over come I have always prayed with them. Many times I have fallen into the trap of complacency and have reaped the terrible rewards of it. I always say to my husband “I don’t know why we do it to ourselves! If we do our jobs we will inherit better behaving kids and therefore a life that is much more peaceful.” Sometimes I am just tired and need a break, Sometimes I have been neglecting my own spirit and the flesh gets in the way. Sometimes I’m just human! But I thank God I eventually get my act together! Because then I can go out to the movies, I can go out to eat, I can go on a riverboat, I can go shopping, I can go to a live theatre production all with my husband and all of my 6 kids! Because they behave!!!! And it’s all because of the very foundational things I just wrote to you. Moms and dads give yourself a break and begin to shepherding your child’s heart and watch the rewards of it spill over into your life.

Love

Johnnatta

be bold in the gifts god has given you

Be Bold In The Gifts God Has Given

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

Every Sunday my family and I gather around the kitchen table to read God’s word and discuss Christian living and I have the pleasure of empowering my children and husband through the Holy Spirit. My husband recently had a stroke so I lead mostly the discussions for now as the stroke affected his speech. He does his best to chime in and I encourage the children to give their thoughts and opinions. In this hard time in our life as a family we are learning everyday how much God’s hand is on our lives and how He provides for us. My children are begging to exhibit great gifts and talents at a rate I have never seen before and God is leading us to everything He has for us.

It’s a constant cycle of giving and receiving.

We read in Isaiah 49 today how God formed him for His purposes, to bless him, for Isaiah to know Him but also for Isaiah to be a light to others. Did you know that God does that with you as well? That the moment that he made Adam and Eve He not only made them to have a relationship with Him but He made them that they may live life abundantly and then turn around in that abundance and give back to others. It’s a constant cycle of giving and receiving. What a massive blessing! But unfortunately we live in a world that wants to constantly take. People create and do so they can get something from someone else and I think we are all realizing that more and more. But I want you to know that God’s people give as much as they receive because that is who God made us to be and if anyone knows that clearly it should be us. Despite what the world is doing we should be following after our savior Jesus Christ and His Father; our Father. Living a life like this is where we can began to live a life of abundance. That circle of receiving and giving shouldn’t feel like a chore but should feel as good as a flowing river of life springing forth nourishing the seeds of faith and love within us. Be bold in the gifts that God has given you when you create. Make sure you do it not only for God’s glory but give to others while your doing what He’s called you to do. And you will begin to see the blessing of God on those around you and in your own home.

The Lord has been speaking to me so much in gardening these days. If you garden this may resonate with you. When you begin to grow a plant the plant has already done all the work that God created it to do to give you the seed. So then you take that seed and prepare it for sleep so that you can save it for sowing season. When it’s time to wake the seed up you do what needs to be done by rehydrating the seed then planting it. It’s up to you to nourish, water and make sure the seed is given plenty of sunlight. The seed begins to do what God created that seed to do. And eventually because of you giving your time and abelites that seed gives back to you ten fold. Now you have fruit to eat and to live off of. The world wants us to believe we live in a dead world but in fact we have life all around us. This world is overflowing with life! But in order for God to give the increase you must give as you have be given to. May God be with you Kingdom family!

xoxo

Johnnatta Giles

Practical Ways To Get Your Pink Back!

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

Practical Ways To Get Your Pink Back After A Baby 

The days of just surviving after having a baby is over! A new trend called “Getting your Pink Back” is in. As a mother of 6 children I can tell you this is something I have struggled with maintaining and have tried many different ways to getting myself back after each child. Here’s my advice!

Wait.. what does getting your pink back even mean?

Many influencing mom have their own takes on it including one of the first referencing flamingo’s and their offspring. Look that up later! But here’s my take on things. As mother’s when our babies are first born our instincts are to nurture our new life in the world. It can take a lot out of us as we focus on our baby’s needs and in some areas we do the bare minimum for ourselves just to get through the day or even years. This isn’t a bad thing but after a certain period there comes a time where we gain a little more sleep and get small bits of time back in our day. The problem is the latter part when we tend to find ways to fill up the new recovered time with everything else but ourselves. We go back to work, we give our kids more of us as they grow and if we have them, our spouses and partners more time as well. That’s when we find there’s little time for ourselves and so the neglect continues when it doesn’t necessarily need to.

I’m always going to advocate for both mom health and baby health. But one doesn’t have to be without the other. You can nourish your body even in the “healing” phase of motherhood which is postpartum and beyond to get your pink back so to speak. Here’s a few ways to do that from my own experiences.

Begin the Healing

Yoga may not be your thing but some form of stretching works wonders. You can take 15 to 20 minutes everyday and become stronger with little effort by doing stretch exercises. I call them my lazy workouts though there’s nothing lazy about them. They really do work if your goal is focused on healing instead of immediate weight loss. Focus on abdominal repair work outs and check if you have diastasis recti .This is a common condition post pregnancy but also can be healed naturally. Wear your belly support bands ladies during pregnancy and get ones for postpartum too they really work!

Clean eating can be as easy as switching from fast food hamburgers to nutrient dense soups and casseroles. WHAT I can eat a healthy casserole? Absolutely! Change your basic cheap macaroni full of preservatives to ones with better whole ingredients and Voila! Carbs are not always your enemy. It’s what the carb is made of that is!

Start A Natural Beauty Routine

Your skin needs you babe! Our hormones are fluctuating during the first few weeks to even years after having a baby and it’s not the time to experiment with chemical ridden cosmetics. Get to know your skin by investing in natural products or go the DIY route. A face mask daily refreshes the skin and gives you a little treat. My favorite masks are mud and charcoal. Begin a morning and night routine and do your best to stick with it!. My favorite two cleansers are raw unfiltered honey and castle soap. Moisturizers I live by is aloe vera leaf (from the plant) and olive oil. If these natural products don’t work switch up and find ones that work. Natural soaps like goat milk soap is great to cleanse the skin with. Coconut oil and caster oil are great oils for moisturizing to try as well. Don’t sleep on the ice! It really does work! Use ice cubes or ice rollers to shrink pores and improve circulation. It’s not just a beauty routine but a self discovery journey as well!

The Mama Clothes May Have To Go!

From maternity clothes to the clothes you bought just to exist in during the 4th trimester, it’s time to let them go! It’s okay to freshen up your closet to match your current season. You don’t have to throw them away but you can save them for future pregnancies or donate them. Find clothing that flatter your body and make you feel good instead of going by trends. Trends can be exciting but also very disheartening if what’s on trend doesn’t look as good on you as it does on everyone on social media. Have a friend, spouse or family member go with you shopping to help with the baby while you try on new clothes. Or browse the Internet during nap time and shop from your own style board you made on Pinterest. This is one of my favorite things to do after having one of the kids to get my “pink” back! 

Mom Hair But We Do Care

We are at that point, in society that we just don’t give a you know what. We’re doing our best and it’s become very popular to just accept others as they are and ourselves. Which I love! But at one point we have to rise up out of the “it is what it is” survival pit. It has it’s place but we are moving on. Rather we want to admit it or not there’s something powerful about our hair. It can change everything about how we feel about ourselves and in fact sometimes one of the first things we do when going through a big change is we change our hair! I was notorious for big chops when I was younger. And if you’re ready for it girl do you! But you can also go in for a refresh hair cut to clip your ends or try a new layering style. It doesn’t even have to be a hair cut. When I was pregnant with my last munchkin, my goal was to grow my hair after she was born. I’ve been trying new routines to see which one worked with less effort as having 6 kids ain’t no joke! But I am determined to find time to give to this goal. I wash my hair once a week, deep condonation with one leave in product after washing, style my hair once, do an oil treatment before shampooing and repeat.  This protected my hair from shedding too much during the dreaded postpartum shed and my hair is healing and growing! Getting a fresh start with our hair feels like letting a load off and it’s very refreshing.

Girl YOU MATTER So Act Like It!

You gave life to someone else now you must give life back to yourself. You don’t have to go to the gym, take a bunch of supplements or spend a bunch of money to get your pink back. The natural ways are always cost effective and the most effective from experience. But remember don’t be so quick to jump on this trend right after birth because at the end of the day you and your baby’s bond is what matters the most. Enjoy the newborn phase because it’s the quickest of them all! 

xoxo

Johnnatta

One Of My Kids Believe In Santa

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

For while now I have always talked about how we celebrate Christmas and why. One of the things I’ve been adamant about is never lying to my children about Santa Clause. All of these years I have been honest with my children. I basically tell them Santa is a cartoon character that has many origins, he is a legend but not a real person. I let them know that It’s okay as Americans for us to enjoy our traditional media as it’s tied to our culture. We even had a Santa come to our retail store to spread much Christmas cheer in a time of an increasing negativity about Christmas in general. But my kids have always known the truth.

On the way home from my daughter’s piano lesson one of my youngest girls was with us both. We were just discussing our favorite things about the Christmas season. My youngest was asking if we were going to finish watching the Michael Jackson concert we started but never finished the night before. I told her no we have other things to do that night. She got upset and told us she didn’t want to talk anymore because she was thinking about Michael Jackson. I honestly didn’t know she liked MJ that much until that moment! So she sat there quietly as my eldest and I continued to chat. That was until Santa came up. My youngest daughter enthusiastically jumped in and began to talk about how he was coming to the house and putting his sleigh on the roof. I said gently “Now you know Santa is not real right? So he won’t actually be there.” Her eldest sister said “Yeah! He’s not real remember?” My youngest said with a low mumble “I don’t want to talk anymore.” I asked her why and she said “I’m thinking about Santa.” I said “Okay. Well it’s okay to think about Santa. It’s not wrong to imagine about the reindeer and the sleigh on the roof.” And she excitedly said “OKAY!” I told my eldest to not be so stern with her. It’s up to her to come to realization that Santa is not real. She has to work that out on her own but to be honest if she asked but don’t push it in her face.

This moment warmed my heart two fold. Not only was my sweet little girl growing up, expressing her feelings and drawing boundaries but I was for the first time learning how to navigate a situation I never had to before. All of my kids before her showed no interest in Santa. But she was the first and it was an opportunity to not only teach her but to learn how to support her without being false in any way. It can be hard as a parent to choose to tell your children the truth because you think if you do you’ll crush their spirit. Some parents choose to not engage at all and ignore it. Some choose to add on lie after lie to supposedly shield their child’s innocence. Telling your kids the truth about Santa is not going to steal their innocence. Coming from someone who has endured great trauma as a child, I am telling you what I endured is in fact a stealing of innocence not being honest with your child about a made up character. What you can’t do is be belligerent and harsh about it. Your kids don’t need to be reminded every time they bring up Santa that he isn’t real. Every once in a while I gently remind her but for the most part I tell her siblings to be quiet and let her imagination run free. Constantly telling your child something they believe in is not real at such a young age can hurt their self esteem and create a division between the two of you.

My daughter knows I love her and I believe in her. There is no doub there and even though she got annyoed with me that one time telling her something, she has since not cared if I remind her that he is a cartoon character. She just smiles at me and said “I know!” and then we tell made up Santa stories about him falling off the roof and everyone has a good time joking. The point is with everything give grace and mercy but always tell the truth. Truth and love will always over power any fears you may have and even any mistakes you may make as a parent. But deception bring chaos and pain that could lead to loss and division. It’s never worth it not even for once a year fun.

Stay Blessed and Merry Christmas!

A Mother’s Worship

Published on by Johnnatta Giles3 Comments

Pitter patter pat. I look up from my work on my queen sized bed and notice little black hairs escaping a head full of long silk curls. Someone’s coming to give me a kiss goodnight and to tell me something funny her baby sister just did. She climbs onto the bed and I open my arms for a tight hug. I then bring my hands to her face, cupping her sweet golden brown cheeks. Two kisses for each! As she climbs down to tell me something, I listen and respond but also take a moment to worship the Lord. I’m in awe that such a beautiful being could ever come from my husband and I. In silence, I’m thanking the Lord for it and committing myself deeper to His plan. Because this little one was born out of a promise between Him and I. And I’ll never forget it.

The power of in the moment worship

In the last few months, I have had a really rough time. My husband just went through a medical emergency and that has made me the primary caregiver of everyone in the house. He’s gaining his strength back but It’s going to take time. Sometimes I don’t realize just how tired and stressed I am. But in that moment I stopped and worshipped the Lord. Doing that took a tired and worn out mama and spread peace throughout my being. It was just what I needed after the se last few months of hardship. Many people view worship as a way to spend time with the Lord. But in reality there are many things worship is for and actually does. Worship also is a way the Holy Spirit rises up in us and gives us what we need in that moment. Do you need strength? Peace? Rest? Wisdom? Answers. Take a moment to Worship. Worship is a place of surrender so that the Lord can have space to give you exactly what you need in that season of your life. What around you can you give God praise for? What in your life can you give thanksgiving? Is there something that just happened that you can be humbled in gratitude about? Take e beat, and worship at His feet! People tell you to pray often but I’m telling you mama, to worship. Worship as often as you pray! There’s healing in that small moment of praise.

No matter what life throws at you, God can breathe life back into you again. And He does it a lot of the time in the smallest ways. Will you give Him just a moment so He can fill you back up again?

xo Johnnatta

Womanhood in Motherhood

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

One topic I would love to dive deep into on MFS is my experiences with motherhood. I cannot even begin to count how many times strangers have come up me (and still do) and tell me how beautiful and well behaved my children are. Deepening on the conversation and the time I have I kindly thank them and tell them it’s because I do my job. with a lot of hard work. Once my mom asked me how I did it with all the children I have and I told her point blank, THE LORD. Although these explanations can be seen as generalizations, in reality these simple responses hold much stories, revelations and true spiritual maturity on both my part and my husband’s.

Is Womanhood and Motherhood two separate things? In reality the are one and the same

I heard a saying, maybe a few, that motherhood and womanhood are two different things. Have you heard the whispers of this belief? It was loud and clear in my teens and even as a young woman. But I don’t hear it as much around me as I used to. But everyone once in awhile it pops up online. Oh the world of technology where nothing is really forgotten!

I’m a bit rebellious against the world, doing the opposite of what I’m told to do and instead embarking on journeys to figure things out for myself. I have been called stubborn and I have bluntly agreed. I can be taught but I’d rather do the teaching. In order for me to impart wisdom I have to seek truth for myself. And this was one of those things.

Was I no longer a woman when I became a mother?  As I raised the first when she was my only, I came to the realization that, a full womb does not mark the end of me but creates a stronger me, if I let it. Motherhood has raised a lionesses on the inside of me I never thought I could be. It taught me in fact how powerful women can be. How powerful I can be. Motherhood is an added bonus to womanhood. In order to become a mother you must first be a woman. It’s apart of the journey for those who choose it and it can take on many forms.

I never had to give up all of me to be the best mother I could be. Things change like they do with any life decision. I shifted, I molded and even sometimes I had to go into a type of metamorphosis. Becoming something new so I could expand my view on life and my capacity to love and learn. The parts of me that died away after I held those small fist and counted every tiny toe were replaced with fresh new eyes that saw wonder in a new way.  I had changed for the better. But much still remained and I still remain true to those things that will always be apart of who I am.

Don’t be afraid to be who you are in front of your children. In truth we should be growing with them while raising them but not in self denial. Self sacrifice is good for the common good of you both. But if you find the need to make changes that surly is for the best for your child just know that is not a form of self denial. Too often women fall into this trap and warrior women it brings on nothing but regret shame and unfulfillment which inevitable trickles over into to your mothering.

My children created the woman I am today. I have watched them grow and they have seen me at my rawest truest form. They know full well that I am their mama but I am also my own separate person. Sometimes as women we need to remember that for ourselves. I am proud to be both a woman and mother. They are apart of who I am and always will be.

Be proud, stand tall.

oxoxo

Johnnatta Giles | Owner of VC