Psalms of My Heart

762

What do you do with relationships that are estranged? Will there be reconciliation? Will there ever be peace between you? What can you do when you have hurt another sister or brother in Christ? Can they forgive you? Can you forgive them? I have had my share of those situations. I look back and see how much I have changed even in the pain of it all. Walking through that fire I have learned something so profound. These situations are never easy. It takes the directing of the Holy Spirit for reconciliation. And it takes forgiveness and change in order to grow in any relationship. Some relationship doors close forever and sometimes you know right away what relationships those are. Some never close and you grow together even in pain, despite the past. Those are the refining moments for a better future. At the end of the day only the Lord can tell you what He wants for the both of you or all of you. Because He loves you all and knows what you need to grow closer to Him and become who He has made you to be.

  Let them Speak, Let them Walk

If anyone has something to say

Let them come

Let them speak

Maybe we can change

Maybe we can grow

Let me ask for forgiveness

Let us seek truth

Hope in the Future

Hope in the tomorrow

Let there be better days

Let love overcome pain

If anyone refuses the Light

Let them walk

Let the door close

There can be peace

There can be rest

Let me let them go

Let me forgive and move on

Hope in the King

Hope in a better me

Let there be freedom

Let love remain in me

May God be with you in every area of your life. May His voice guide every relationship in your present and the future. Seek His truth. There is nothing too hard for Him to do. No matter your pain, confusion, anger or guilt there is and will be healing in Him. He will restore and He will make all things New.

Fall Beauty Essentials: Body Care

bodybasics

I don’t know about you but I love switching up my body care products every season. My love for fall scents ends with my body care so this won’t be one of those posts. Not to worry no pumpkin spice deodorant here!

Some of these products I have used every year the cool air makes its way to our valley. So some of these need to be stocked soon and you will see what I mean below. Nevertheless, I still wanted to share them with you in hopes they too will bless you as much as they have me.

IMG_7638

Tom’s of Maine 24 hour Fresh Apricot Deodorant is a new product for me. I was always afraid natural deodorants would expose me body odor rather than prevent it. But I am very happy this does all the little things it promises to do.

What I think of Tom

Smells fresh and fruity and that’s my favorite scent combination.

It goes on smooth and feels light.

Does not clog up my sweat glands. Yay!

Lasts all day with no need of another application.

Because of this deodorant I don’t have to use Old Spice anymore (yeah I did that. for years).

IMG_7657

My shameless almost empty bottle of Palmer’s Moisturizing Body Oil is my go to body moisturizer all fall and winter. I use this all the time to keep my skin moisturized and soft.

What I love about this oil

As I stated before it keeps my skin moisturized and smooth.

It prevents the severe dry skin I encounter every year in Fall and Winter.

It smells amazing and has a subtle cocoa butter scent.

I can use this in an oil soak bath or I can smooth it over my skin after a shower. Two for one!

IMG_7648

I have been using The Healing Garden’s Natural Olive Oil Body Wash for over a year now. I was immediately hooked once I smelled this body wash and I use it all year round.

Why this Body wash has my heart

I love that it’s a natural oil body wash. I have been looking for a body wash that uses not only essentials oils but also plant and vegetable oils.

I love the beautiful lavender smell. I always imagine acres of lavender when using it!

My skin has had less after shower dryness every since I have been using this. There are times I don’t want to moisturize my skin after a shower and I don’t regret it later.

IMG_7636

I don’t know how long Bath and Body works have been selling Coco Shea Honey 24-Hour Body Lotion, but it is such a treat. My husband took me to one of their big sales earlier this year and I got this for a great deal along with other things. This baby sells for $15.00 but I tell you the truth it melts on your skin like butter! This will last me a long time so no shade on how much I spent on it you get my driff?  I have been searching for a special lotion just for my bathroom after me or my guest wash their hands and I’m so glad I found this.

Why this rocked my life

The moisturizing effect is unbeatable. I have been through many hand lotions and this one wins hands down. As a mother who constantly cleans and bathes and cooks for 4 little people I have the hardest time with dry hands. I always use this lotion to prevent that from happening and to heal them when the cracking first starts.

The smell is truly heavenly.

It has my favorite natural moisturizers in it. Cocoa Butter Shea Butter and.. HONEY.

It leaves no residue and does not transfer. Once I put it on it instantly absorbs!

You can find these products by of course going to their websites but the first 3 I got at Wal-Mart. And of course the last will HOPEFULLY be on Bath and Body Work’s website. Take care of yourself and stay beautiful! 

Janet

 

 

 

 

 

Fall Beauty Essentials: Curly Hair Care

5 years ago I went natural. Trying to get to know my curls was frustrating and I almost went crazy. I have the hardest times with breakage mainly in the Fall and Spring. It has been a continuous nightmare trying to find products that are safe for my scalp and delightful to my tresses. I went with all natural oils for a few years when I gave up on any product out there claiming they were both Natural and healing. In the end they made my hair worse than it was before.

But as the years went on new products emerged and I have come to love them and will be eternally grateful that they now exist. These products help Prepare my hair for the coming seasonal challenges, Prevent breakage and Protect my curls from the changing weather.

Healthy Happy Hair

IMG_6975

Shea Moisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Intensive Hydration Shampoo

Wow that’ s a long title! But don’t let that put you off on this amazing shampoo. I have tried many shampoos and conditioners throughout my whole adult life, non natural and natural as well. You already know my love for honey. I have always wanted to use honey in my hair care but first attempt to make homemade shampoo failed so I honestly gave up. I still hope to one day make my very own shampoo. But I decided to try this out until then. And I ABSOLUTELY love it! One thing I realized as my gorgeous, thick, black curls grew longer was, I had to wash my hair more often than I used to. My hair is thick so the longer it gets the more it clings onto dirt and oil.

What I love about Shea Moisture’s Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo:

I am able to wash my hair once to twice a week without it stripping the natural oils in my scalp (this causes severe dryness and over production of oil which leads to bad dandruff).

It foams making sure that it spreads evenly throughout the hair strands cleaning well.

My hair is clean, soft and shiny all at once. Once my hair is rinsed and dried, it feels, looks and smells glorious!

Aragan Oil of Morocco & One ‘n Only Aragan Oil

Both of these oils are my favorite and I keep them on hand yearly. I don’t use conditioners after I wash my hair so these products are what I use when I don’t want to use my own handmade oil treatments.

What I love about Aragan Oil of Morocco:

This oil is thick but provides so much coverage that you only need a small amount for each section of hair. I have always favored it’s beautiful aromatic smell and it’s ability to deliver softness and it has great absorbency.

What I love about One ‘n Only Aragon Oil

Although I prefer the Aragan Oil of Morocco, this oil is my go to when I have been neglectful to my hair. When the days are busy and hours randomly turn into weeks, I sometimes forget to tend to my hair and I pay for it. This oil has been essential to helping me stop the current breakage and prevent any from happening until I can take time to care for my hair. I always keep this on hand mainly for that reason. I love the smell but I frequently use this on my kids had rather than my own. It is a good alternative to the other oil I mentioned if you don’t like that one.

The Mane Choice Tropical Moringa Oil & Honey & Mane Choice Heavenly Halo

The  Tropical Moringa Oil & Honey Daily Moisturizer cream is hard to find in stores but I did happen to find one still being sold at Target online. The Halo moisturizer is quiet popular and also more expensive than the other.

What I love about The Tropical Moringa Oil & Honey Moisturizer and Mane choice Heavenly Halo

Because there is not any major differences I decide to write a combined review on both. I like the Heavenly Halo better than the other one. The formula is not so heavy and for some reason the Tropical Moringa moisturizer irritated my scalp at the end of the week but the Halo one does not.  These moisturizers work so well that having to moisturize daily was no longer something I had to do. It’s expensive but it is because of that very reason I pay for it. I grew up having to moisturize my scalp daily to keep it from drying out. Mane Choice products set me free from that annoyance! With their divine smell , the ability to make my twists defined and my curls shine, I will forever be a Mane Choice fan as long as I live!

I hope this helped a fellow curly girl out there but for all of you who don’t have curls these companies also make products for a range of different hair types. May your journey to healthy happy hair be blessed!

Janet

IMG_6950

Fall Beauty Essentials: Skin Care

 

woman wearing black sweater standing on the field
Photo by Luis Quintero on Pexels.com

I will be  doing a series of beauty post that can help you Prepare Prevent and Protect your skin and hair during the changing of the Seasons from Summer to Fall.

The last two Fall seasons, my hair and skin have a little hard time adjusting. At first i tried to ignore it, focus on keeping my face clean and moisturized and… stay in the house as much as possible! The more I was exposed to the outside world the more I suffered from it. It makes me uncomfortable when my skin and hair feels disruption and is unrested. But this year I decided to try to a different approach.

Being a women with love for natural beauty and natural beauty products, sometimes I have the tendency to rebuke any product that’s not natural. But this natural movement is so new so most of the products out there can’t deliver all that my skin needs. Most of the time they only deal with just one of my problems. I decided to find a few non natural products that I could use to help me keep the balance in my skin, no matter what the fall season will throw at me.

Keeping it Real with you guys. This post is about how these products are helpful and refreshing to my skin but forreal my skin in these pictures are AWFUL! I was in a hurry and just came out from working in the yard. I totally forgot to wash my face up. But I loved the pictures so I kept them 🙂 .

A Beautiful Healthy Face

IMG_6982

Raw Unfiltered Honey will always be my main choice for washing my face. I use it daily morning and night. Honey does all these wonderful things:

Hydrates skin for better complexion

Evens Skin Tone

Eliminates dark spots and helps prevent them

Naturally antibacterial- Prevents and treats acne

Full of antioxidants to help minimize wrinkles and fine lines

IMG_6985

I found the Simple Line over 4 years ago when there was just the face wash and the moisturizer. I was a bit skeptical at first since I was new to the natural beauty movement. I was not sure if something so natural and simple could actually help. They have changed their formula since then and I was not too happy about that at first. I loved the old formula. But I am not the only one buying their products. I could see how the old formula could be very drying. Their new formula is more moisturizing than the last and it still produces these great results for me. When my skin is randomly oily and the honey is making it worse, Simple does these things for me:

Cleanses my skin well without irritation or drying

Peace of mind about what my pores are absorbing. No dyes No fragrances!

Thanks to the added B5 Vitamin, it immediately refreshes and calms my skin down whenever I experience heat and break outs.

IMG_6987

Biore was my missing link in battling the ups and downs of Fall weather. While both Simple and the Raw Unfiltered Honey have healing and restoring powers they did not keep me from developing my face’s sworn enemy. Black heads. Here’s what I love about Biore’s unclogging scrub.

Prevents and treats blackheads

Gently exfoliates skin

Releases a fresh cooling feel

Leaves my skin able to breathe for added healing

I normally rotate using these products throughout the week. But I also watch my skin to see which product it needs most that day.

For example : My skin right now is very oily as I write. So I will use the Simple Refreshing Face wash Gel to get that oil under control. I use the honey when my face feels very dry. And every Friday I use the Biore unclogging scrub to prevent any black heads and to have a gentle exfoliator after a long week.

Tune in one the next Beauty Post, I will talking about hair! Hope you were blessed and I hope these could be your answer to the struggle.. girl to girl.

Janet

 

 

 

 

 

Life Updates

162721_154676954584757_100001273618372_301994_230154_n

Fall is finally here! But it still doesn’t feel like it here in Kentucky yet. Mother Earth what’s going on with you this year? I’m so confused!

How I feel about fall is exactly how I feel on the inside these days. I see what’s happening around me I can even outwardly feel it but I still don’t understand it and I don’t know how to feel about it.  I took a break by the leading of the Holy Spirit. He had something to say to me and needed me to sit still in order for me to receive it. I struggled to obey but the Spirit in me that wants nothing more than to hear from my God won over my defiant flesh. With a violent past like mine, it takes years to get on the path of deliverance and standing in the season of healing and The New. I am now standing in The New but it doesn’t feel like it. Have you ever been where I am?

Your past has always been apart of who you thought you were. You wore your pain as your identity. Thinking you would never be truly free of the demons that haunt in the night and stalk in the day. So you embraced it and told yourself “It’s just who I am.” But here you stand now on brink of freedom, in a new place and a new you. The old cannot come. It shall not enter here! But you can’t see how what you were will never be who you are becoming. It’s hard to see yourself a fully NEW creature. Your Mind just cant umderstand it but your heart knows…it knows your exactly where your supposed to be.

]

Guys I tell you the truth….. I have recently stood back, looked at myself and thought who is that? I don’t know her. I have always been a person afraid of the unknown but I am realizing more than ever in this season of my life that the unknown is exactly what I want. No matter how uncomfortable it makes me. I may not understand myself like I used to or know myself like I once did but this is exactly where I want to go.

In the Freedom of The Unknown there awaits Adventure and The New.

I will forever be that curious girl with the big brown eyes venturing into the very thing that scares me just find out whats there. And it will be for the better for me. Because It’s a place my Creator designed for me to walk into.

It’s strange…. but it’s SOOO GOOD! I hope if you are where I am, you will follow the Holy Spirit’s breadcrumbs so you may be lead to the bread. The feast! The New!

4 Bean Cherokee Soup & Honey Cornbread

fourbeancherokee

Summer is not quite at an end but still I have been noticing leaves turning and falling as if it were already Fall. My kids have already started to pile up leaves to play in and although I’m looking forward to my favorite season it seems a bit premature. This summer has been a confusing one to Mother Nature and we have had a rough time in our garden from such a dry atmosphere.

But last year we had a bountiful harvest and my most treasured picking was of my Cherokee Trail of Tears Beans. The vines are gorgeous and produce beautiful flowers. Not too long after that, I opened purple lace beans that inside were filled with itty bity beans. They are purple at first, but then as they dry become beautiful shiny black heirlooms.

They were beautiful and I was proud but I had no idea what I would do with them. The first time I cooked them they were a bit mushy. I was hoping it was my mistake and not how the beans were meant to turn out. After some research I learned that my Native American ancestors loved to make bean soups and breads with this bean.

This early onset of fall had me in the mood for soup so it was high time I tried to make up one with my Trail of Tears Beans. I will have to try them in a bread recipe later (yikes)  but I am so stoked I nailed the bean soup! It came out so good and is now about to become a fall tradition with our Harvest Praise Celebration coming up. And it went well with my homemade Honey Cornbread!

As always both recipes to print off is at the bottom of the page.

IMG_6822

Start by sorting beans and cleaning them well. Mix all the beans together in a crock-pot and fill pot halfway with warm water (this speeds up cooking time without having to soak the beans before) after this gather up all the spices because they are all put into the pot all at once when beans are ready.

seasoningscherokee

Let beans cook at the least 4 hours on the highest setting of your Crock-pot. Check beans after 4 hours and make sure the beans are no longer hard but softened. If they are still hard just add a half of cup of water then check again in an hour. They should break gently when pierced or bitten into. Add bacon onions and seasoning to the Crock-pot and let everything cook until bacon is fully cooked through.

IMG_6827

Once everything is fully cooked turn off crock-pot to let the soup cool down and start on the cornbread.  I always do this so that we can eat right away when the cornbread is still warm.

IMG_6832
My Excellent Little Helper 

Note 1 : This cornbread recipe is not my own recipe but it is the recipe I used at first before I created my own. To make this into honey cornbread just add a TBSP of honey to batter before pouring it into a pan. We always use our cast iron to bake our cornbread but feel free to use whatcha got! I hope you love it as much as we do.

Note 2: Some seasonings do not have any specifics to how much I used and that is because I believe you should season to your own desired taste. But the seasonings used are necessary to create the flavor of this recipe. Just use as much or little as you like. Feel free to add in whatever and make it your own!

I think this would go well with a sweet red wine which I will have to try when I am no longer breastfeeding. My kids loved it and so did we hope you do too…Happy Eating!

IMG_6834

4 Bean Cherokee Soup

Honey Cornbread

It’s time for School, are you Anxious?

boy in brown hoodie carrying red backpack while walking on dirt road near tall trees
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Can you believe it? It’s almost time for those kids to go back to school. I bet you can’t wait or if your little one is a new school yard chum you are freaking out, having anxiety and asking every one on Facebook to pray for them… and also YOU. Okay maybe that last part was more from my experience. I know that school time can bring on a mixture of emotions. As I grew up I always imagined waking up before my kids, fully dressed, with hot breakfast on the table and lunch boxes ready to go. But that just didn’t happen at all.

Actually the year my eldest entered kindergarten was the hardest year of my parenting life so far. And there are so many reasons why that was. But it was not what I dreamed of.  I got to wake up twice that entire year.  In my robe mind you on shuffling my feet across my kitchen floor. I could barely keep my eyes open because 3 hours ago I was just breastfeeding her baby brother. So I had to stay in bed as her dad got her ready and walked her to the bus.

But every morning the sound of the bus would awaken me and sometimes I would cry. My heart was aching knowing my daughter was an hour away from me and on a school bus (which I detested from childhood experiences).  So I decided every time the bus came i would pray. Pray for her protection and trust that the Lord was with her. Because for the first time in my life I was not standing beside her and protecting her.

School time can bring on so much joy for some parents but anxiety for others. Especially in light of all the school shootings and the moral decline in our school systems and class rooms. I just want to give you some advice on some things to try that may make it easier for those who are anxious.

Pray

Of course this has to be the first advice I give you. It is the most important thing. When you are over whelmed from anxiety or fear  it’s hard to get a grip on things. He is the anchor for your very soul. He promises to be your strength when you are weak and He will help you to become still in order for peace to enter in your heart. Trust in the Lord to lead you to peace.

Look Forward

It really helped me when I thought about all the things that she may tell me when she got home. I kept an eye on the clock reminding myself that in a few hours she will be home.  Fill up your time with productivity but never forget to rest. Do something for yourself. No matter how small it is.  It will help take your mind off those worries.

Focus on the Good

Be honest with the Lord or friends about how you feel. But don’t focus on any negative thoughts. They will only lead you right back to the place of needing to be rescued from anxiety again. The only way to keep your peace is to do as Philippians 4:8 says.

Weekends are for fun

Don’t let the worries of this world steal your joy and rob you of intimacy with your children. I planned my weekends to focus on spending quality time with my daughter. Our week days were filled with studying, home work, house chores, dinner. It didn’t leave much room for quality time with her so I always planned something for the weekends. Take the Saturday and go for a walk. Teach your kids to breathe as you breathe. They may be feeling the same anxiety you are too about heading back.

I know this world is getting darker but remember Who Holds The Light. That light even among darkness is for you. And He even creates light out of darkness. Pray for the ones who are without love and who are victims of the evil in this world. Pray over the school year and our educators at the schools and in the homes of homeschoolers as well. I am praying that this year would be different and that there will be great change. In Jesus Christ’s name. Amen

From one Parent to another

God bless this school year and may He protect and watch over our children!

 

My Season: Destiny

IMG_6590

 

I have this thing about windows. All my life I have grown up looking out of them. Dreaming hoping and wondering about the world beyond them. They have been a place to cry, to think, to pray, to dream of my future. I remember having a very hard time envisioning my future. I had so many things I wanted to do with my life and the first was to escape the house I was in. But then what? What was the plan after I ran away? Was there more to life than just survival? All I knew was how to stay alive and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to on the streets.

I never really thought there was much for me beyond just staying alive and loving God. I told God when I was a teen that if His love was all that I had that would be enough for me. If I suffered my entire life and knew He loved me I could survive. It was His love that kept me alive all those years and it would be His love that would continue to do so. But my “plan” was not His plan at all.

I may have thought I was born to suffer but I always knew I was meant to do something powerful one day. I just didn’t know how or what that was. And It didn’t matter at one point because I didn’t believe I could do it even if I figured it out. I could have never  known the hell I would have to walk through would be apart of that call. Honestly if I would have known back then what was coming ahead in order for me to get to the place I am now, I would have ran full speed away from that path and onto the easier option. And who knows where that would have lead me?

For 8 years I have been on a journey leading to my destiny. And I can honestly say I have not reached my full potential in my character to step fully into the Call on my life. I am in a season of  learning to submit my flesh to the Holy Spirit. To surrender my will and allow the Lord to guide me. I feel like I am going through things I already went through years ago. There are times where I get so annoyed and think “Seriously? Have I not already surrendered that to God?” In those moments I feel like I am wasting time on things that I should already have moved on from. But I am seeing that old wisdom can look different with new realities.

One of those things I’m struggling with questioning if what I am doing is God’s will when I have been told time and time again it is by Him. I have seen what happens when I give just a piece of this thing away. The Glory for Him that comes from it. It is undeniable. I worry that the Lord will get tired of my questioning and doubting. But I am so glad He is patient with me because I need a lot of pushing right now.

I am really needing reminders of why I am doing the things I am doing. And God knows exactly what I need before I do.

As I was watching my husband ‘s and I’s favorite show “The Flash” one of the Characters said something that sparked life into me. She said;

“You know what makes a great speedster? It isn’t their speed. It’s being the light that everyone needs when the world goes dark. It’s the kind of person they are. The kind of person that always wants to help. ” 

That reminded me before I even knew me He knew me. And this call was placed on the inside me. It’s apart of who I am not some thing I just picked up on the side of the road one day. I have been walking toward this for 8 years through the guiding of the Holy Spirit. So now I am in the season of praying for the courage to continue forth.

It takes courage to stand and speak when you don’t think anyone is listening. To leave everything and everyone you know in order to follow Jesus fully. It takes courage to walk where no one else is walking. It takes courage to stand in the gap and when the heavens ask “Who will go forth” you say “Here I am. I will Lord.” He is working on me even in the toughest times.

And even when I want to give up for no apparent reason He is faithful to bring people across my path to get me moving and keep me walking forward. So here I am  Lord. Arms open giving you my life so I may keep it! There is no peace without you and you are everything I will ever need. May all those who seek truth find it through me pointing them directly to You. The King of Kings and God of all. El Shaddai may YOU be glorified forever. Amen.

Do you feel the same? If so know I get it. It can be hard when you know you hold something powerful but don’t know how or when you will release it to those who need it. On the road you grow weary, confused, doubtful, fearful and insecure. But none of that will change this fact:

You were made for such a time as this and He is so much more than all of this. You were born with those gifts rather you use them or not. But He will guide all things for His Glory. All you have to do is say:

Here I am. Yes I will.

#ourdestinyhisglory

Building

IMG_6276

Yes I know I have been absent on here. But only for a little bit.. just a little bit.  Aside from the fact I have a family to raise and Co-Lead, there have been things I have been working on that I have not talked about.. until now. As you will find out the more you get to know me I am a women that wears many many hats.  As you have read in my previous post there is so much on my heart. But I have learned the art of contentment and building. 

Building…. Yes that has been the Word for this season of my life.

The Lord and I are building on the call of my life. He, laying down the foundation, paving the way ahead, and cheering me on. And I am being faithful and obedient in placing the bricks in the areas He directs me to. So in time I may walk fully in this magnificent ministry He has designed in me to bring to the World. Many nights I have prayed for the peace of God and called upon the wisdom of rest while laying in my Fathers lap. His love washes over me and He works even as I sleep. My mornings are filled with praise for a new day ahead of me. I know that I will find every tool, every stone I need waiting for me to get to work on this beautiful thing that for now is His and mine alone.

For the first time ever I am now going to reveal to you what I have been working on. I feel it’s time. There are hints in here but not everything will be revealed. This is what the Holy Spirit has directed me to share:

The Book is Coming

I have finally started the editing of “the book”. I have a goal to when I want the editing to be done so it can be sent in to be published. This book carries my heart, spirit and soul. Tears are still being shed as I edit.  For a while I was so afraid to send it out into the world. Afraid the wolves my rip it apart. But who are they? And this story is not my own. How can I hoard something that has never belonged to me? It would be utterly selfish. The cover is done and my heart sings every time I set my eyes on it. For the longest time I had no idea what to do about the cover. Until Rebecca came :). I am amazed at the work I have done through the Lord and how He took care of it all. My very first creation will be such a huge part of my heart. Glory to God for what He has done and what He will do through it!

I’m starting a YouTube Channel.

If any of you have followed me from my previous channel or my previous blog from blogger you know I used to have one. This one will be very different! I had no idea the Lord would call me back on there in the first place. I thought I was done. But it makes complete sense now why last year I started working on it again. The things that the Lord has done I could have never came up with myself. I am so excited for the opportunity to know even more of you out there and share with you some major parts of my life. All for the Glory of God. Because guys I was so okay with just this corner on the internet, even Instagram was His idea. But I do it for all of you. The channel itself will not be active until after the book is ready to be sent into the publishers. I hope to hear from you guys over there when it does!

Now that you know, I will be updating on these things as this year finishes up. Things are evolving in so many areas of my life each month. And with fall harvest, canning season and homeschooling starting up, I have got to get BUSY. I know the Lord will lead me as He has been. I am always amazed at the things I get done. But I know I can’t do anything apart from Him and I can do all things in Him.

Write soon. God bless you guys.

J.S

 

 

Legacy of Love

Being a mom of 4 is quite the challenge. And even though I have gotten a lot stronger since my c-section I have come to realize that sometimes there is just not enough time in the day. I have gotten to the point where I am needing more breaks to rest than I ever had before. I feel bad about that sometimes because I want to give out more so my kids will remember how much I loved them. But I get so darn tired and just need moments of rest.

One of the things I love to do is watch a movie or a documentary while they nap or dad takes them outside to play. One documentary in particular has recently sent me on a thought journey and taught me an important lesson. Being intentional and devoted is the first things that help create a legacy of love for our children and that is what matters the most.

August 1997 was the year that I was 8 turning 9. It was also the month and year that Diana, Princess of Wales died. I was watching  Dianna: In her Own Words on Netflix and revelation sprang forth in my heart. She was the first person I ever looked up to. I barely remember much about the first time I had heard her name. But I knew she was someone very much loved and the beauty of her heart drew me in.

I was so young then on the day of her funeral. My heart was breaking knowing that this person no longer graced this Earth. And I cried. I remember being shocked of how many people were there at her funeral as well every other memorial services around the world.  I had no idea I was not the only who took notice of her. But what amazed me the most were the words being spoken about this woman. This mother.

princessdi2

When I heard of all that she did for the sick and the left behind I thought in my mind “I want a heart like that. I want to do that one day.” I could have never imagined that my heart would grow to have a hunger to be a humanitarian as well. There is a natural born hatred in me for injustice and suffering. And one day very soon I will be traveling to the least of these just to sow the love of Christ.

As I grew up I came across more information about Diana. The more I found out the more I fell in love wit her. This woman was long gone but she left such a legacy of love that it was still being felt by the living. The one thing that I came across that stood out to me more than anything about Diana was her absolute love and devotion for her children. Each photo and video I saw of her and the two boys,  I remember thinking “I want to be a mother like that!”

I see now well before my children had even entered this world God was already sowing in my heart His will for me as a mother through Diana. I had no other influence. The main women in my life abused me. Hatred and lies were being sown in me daily but the Lord always brought me across women that would sow truth in me and combat it all. All these years it was meant for the now., the today as a mother of four beautiful children.

Some may think that is idolatry. Call it what you want, all I know is God will use the people around you as a child to help you to grow in the way you should go. God always knows what He is doing. And though I had no mother to teach me I had Diana.

In this season of motherhood today I am learning that being an intentional devoted mother is the first step. Devoted to raising well fed healthy kids. Devoted to praying with them and reading them the Word. Intentional in teaching them and disciplining them according to God. Intentionally creating an atmosphere of peace and rest. Some days it’s all that I can do that day and that is enough.

Let me share with you this intentional piece of a letter I just wrote in my motherhood diary. That day was  I was so tired and all I could do is take care of their basic needs and write them a little letter:

“I want to always make sure no matter what, I am doing my part as your mother. It can be hard when I am hurting. But you guys as well as the Lord, get me out of bed every morning and keep me moving forward. You are truly a gift to me. Each one of you created something beautiful in my character.”

There are so many things I have done that I know is creating a legacy of love for my children. I want them to always know that they have been a huge part of who I have become as a mother and women. That Life without them is unimaginable. So I have to remind myself daily. Be intentional and stay devoted. If  today that’s all I’ve got that is everything they need.

God bless you!