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An open Bible is surrounded by pink cut roses.

Waiting on Your Mate With God | Devotional 6

Published on by Johnnatta Giles3 Comments

Soulmates and Soul Ties

Sometimes there is a confusion between what a soul mate is and a person you may have soul ties with. Soul ties are demonic strongholds that often time present themselves in your relationships. These relationships often are fueled by heightened emotions. These emotions range from over excitement to love sickness. Along with these emotions they will be accompanied by obsession, confusion, chaos and heart break. This constantl roller coaster of feelings will recycle itself over and over again as long as you have a relationship with this person. But when you find a soulmate this man will always bring a spirit of peace, deep love, spiritual fruit and oneness.

Are there men in your life that brings you pain and chaos?

How many past relationships have you experienced soul ties?

Have you ever felt you were with a soul mate only for them to end up abusive and neglectful?

Do you believe that spiritual influences affect your relationships like the Bible says? Why or Why not?

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

When we talk about relationships we cannot ignore the spiritual element of this topic. When a woman is in a relationship that constantly produces chaos and pain the enemy is present in that relationship. This does not mean that the enemy will not attack a God centered relationship but the massive difference in a soul tie relationship and a soul mate one is the soul mate will always produce peace even in the midst of storms. Before I met my husband I was “in love” with a guy and experienced this for the first time in my adult life. Every time I was around him or thought about him I would instantly feel over excitement and love sick. So love sick to the point I could not eat. I had the same experience with my first boyfriend when I was 16 years old. But then I thought it was just a teenage phase until it happened again with the next young man. I was older by then and was spiritually mature enough to know this was not normal. We flirted back and forth often but I always felt he was out of reach. The guy would play mind games and my attraction to him kept pulling me back in. When I realized how this was affecting me I began to pray and ask God to help me. Soon I was healed and delivered but this spirit would not let up that easy. Months later I met my husband and we were in a relationship. They guy I was once interested in was still in my friend circle so avoiding him was near impossible. The guy knew I had moved on and all of a sudden became more interested in me. I completely ignored him but noticed the pull of this spiritually force anytime we were near each other. It got to the point where I could no longer hang out with friends when he was around. With a soul tie it is always a demonic presence involved. It’s not so much the person but there is a spirit dwelling among that relationship to bring chaos and disruption. For your sake let this guy go. He is there by design distracting you from following the will of God in your life.

When a man and woman become one flesh as it states in Matthew 19:6, this is a spiritual connection. When a soul mate enters the scene, you will notice that you are at peace with him. When God is involved the first thing He will want you to know is that you are safe. You will sense this spiritually not outwardly. Safety does not always mean what a man does for you but what spirit he brings with him. This is why we took so much time to address your own spiritual state because it will be the deciding factor in helping you find the one. A man can be nice to you, make you feel empowered and put you first but sometimes those are power plays of an abusive controlling man. A soul mate will put God first in his life and therefore will operate in your relationship that honors God above all else. This is true security with a man not how much money he brings. Life happens and sometimes people loose jobs and miss out on opportunities, but if God is first in a man’s life you can have peace in knowing that man will always be able to provide you with what you may need to keep you secure physically, finically and spiritually. A soulmate will not play games with you. He will be upfront on who he is and what he wants out of your relationship. He won’t float around the idea of marriage he will know if that is in his plans or not. A man of God plays no games with your heart because he understands that your a God’s daughter. My husband and I have had our share of trials as a married couple. One thing has always been true for us is that no matter what we have gone through God has held us together and peace has remained. When you are with the one you were made for, and God bring you both together it is His spirit that holds you as one.

Are you ready to leave behind your soul ties and wait on your soulmate?

Prayer

Pray that the Lord will help you identify soul ties in your relationships even the non romantic ones. Rebuke the enemy from your midst as you have the authority to do so in the name of Jesus Christ according to Luke 10:19. Pray over yourself for healing, restoration and peace. Ask the Lord to give you the gift of the Spirit according to His will and give you eyes that see and ears that hear. Ask the Lord to reveal to you the plans of the enemy and pray against those plans. Pray for protection against those the enemy uses to attack you and keep you in chaos. Pray for them that God will deliver them and set them free of demonic influence. In Jesus Christ name, Amen.

Christ Mindset

According to Luke 10:19 I have authority in Jesus Christ to rebuke the devil, his plans and his cohorts. I want to be set free and I proclaim I am set free in the name of Jesus Christ. The enemy has no authority over me. The Lord in His perfect timing will lead my soul mate to me. The Lord loves me and does all things for my good and therefore anything that comes to me that produces evil is not of Him. Anything good is from the Lord anything bad is from the devil.

Heart and A cross
A Bible is open surrounded by flowers and cotton cloths.

Waiting On Your Mate With God Devotional 5

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

A Courting Guide

I hear all the time how horrifying it is to date in modern times. But when has dating ever been easy? Dating itself is a very new and modern way of finding a spouse. Before this people used to court in various ways. Some ways were good and some ways not so much like arranged marriages. Although these ways may seem ancient, they had better success than dating has. The biggest difference I have observed from the past way of finding a spouse is you had a community or family to support you and help you make this decision. Unfortunately so many of us come from broken homes and fractured relationships that we just don’t have that support like we used to. Thank God for the Holy Spirit and the discernment He brings.

What do you know about the difference between dating and courting?

Do you think courting is old fashioned?

Are you willing to leave behind dating?

Will you trust God only to help you find the one?

“It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me.” John 6:45

Jesus quoted the prophecy above to remind the people that we are now led by God himself and though we may lack spiritual guidance in the people around us, God will always teach us His ways directly. Modern dating actually does the opposite. It takes out the Lord being in control and puts you in control. It’s you deciding who you want to be with based off your limited knowledge about yourself and others. It may sound unrealistic to rely on God to help you court, but you can never fail when God is in control. Here are some steps through my own experience that will help you court effectively.

Ask all the questions and do not let your feelings for him stop you from asking important ones!

My husband and I asked every question we could think of, all over text message. In between our work days we would respond to questions and at night before bed we talked on the phone. We quickly became fast friends and it was becoming obvious we were falling for each other. So I prayed one night to the Lord for discernment. “Lord, I really like this guy and I need to ask him the important questions. The answer to these non negotiables will determine if I move forward with this man in an actual relationship. It will break my heart if the amswers are not what I want to hear but I am putting you first above all else.” I sent my husband the first question.” Do you want children in the future?” His answer was yes. Then right before I could send the second question he actually sent it right back to me and asked “Do you have a relationship with God?” and I said, “God is everything to me.” And those two questions confirmed to us both that God had led us to each other.

What are your top 3 non negotiables? If he does not want those things in his future it may be time to move on.

On your meet ups don’t focus so much on what your doing get to know each other deeply.

My husband and I went to the movies our first time hanging out together. It was during this time together I learned just how much the Lord meant to him and I felt convicted about some of the lack in my own faith. On the way home we talked about spiritual things and our beliefs about the world around us. This conversation continued to confirm we were absolutely made for each other. It’s important to express your deepest beliefs with each other even if you think the guy your talking to may judge you. Your beliefs matter. These beliefs are what makes you who you are and it’s important that you match up with your future spouse because these will be the foundation of your marriage and your family. The Bible constantly warns us to not be unequally yoked. It never tells us we should marry a spouse in hopes of turning them towards God. In fact the Lord consistently warns His people that those who marry outside of the faith will have issues with thier spouses turning them away from Him. This is why it is forbidden for God’s people to marry anyone who is not of the same faith. So do not ignore this important step.

Take it slow it will be so worth it!

My husband and I definitely did things backwards at first. We had sex before we were married and we became parents before we were husband and wife two months into our relationship. But not too long after we discovered I was pregnant we decided to sleep in separate rooms and wait until marriage to have sex again. Someone said to us it doesn’t really matter at that point since we were already expecting a baby. But redemption does matter and we wanted to honor God! It reminds me of the story of the King Nebucanzer. Where he was warned to turn from his sin and choose God. But he continued to sin and got exactly what God said he would get. Nebecanzaer could have just said “What’s the point? I’ve been punished might as well keep going and live my life!” But he didn’t. He praised God and gave himself fully over to the Lord even more so and God blessed him with an abundant life better than his life before. It’s never too late to start over. Our desire to honor God never stopped despite our mistakes. God even gave us favor in trying to do that in the blessing of our daughter. She was born beautiful and perfectly healthy a testimony to God’s faithfulness when we repent and choose Him. Our blessings only increased and the Lord continues to this day showing us favor. Do not rush into anything and if you already have it’s not too late to turn things around. You will be blessed.

Do not skip premarital counseling.

When you do get engaged to be married pre martial counseling is absouletly worth it. Think of it as the final moments to get to know each other even more and test your relationship’s resilence. Our counselar said to us that it was his job to try to break us up because if we can talk about the hard things and get through them we can have a succesful marriage. That sorta terrified me but once we got started I saw the power and fruits of it. Because of counseling we had the tools we needed to deal with communication issues and our first few years were greatly blessed. Many people wait far too long to do counseling as a couple. They tend to start when things have gone wrong. But if you would start off getting help in the beginning your will avoid a lot of headaches the first few years of your marriage. If you have a trustworthy minister or Christian counselor led by the spirit and biblically based, ongoing counseling will greatly bless you as well. There is a reason the Bible encourages it because having a neutural party help you come to reconcilliation and understanding helps avoid years of marriage hardship. But if you don’t have this support pray together and study the word together. Share scriptures with one another throughout your work weeks. Find time to pray and Bible study in person. That alone will be enough because the Holy Spirit is the great counselor.

Prayer

Pray that the Lord will help you move out of the dating mindset and show you how to court for your spouse. Pay that He would help you be brave to express your no negotibales and put Him first above all else. Ask the Lord to give you strength to be patient even when you know you love the man in front of you. Pray that the Holy Spirit will give you self control which is a fruit of the spirit. Pray for the man you are speaking to, even if you have to part ways. In Jesus Christ name. Amen.

Christ Mindset

The Lord is faithful to me therefore He can lead me to the right person. I have peace that surpasses all understanding so I do not have to fear when I give things over to God. He knows me deeply and knows what’s best for me.

Heart and A cross
A bible is surrounded by cozy things

Waiting On Your Mate With God | Devotional 3

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

Self Preservation and Boundaries

It is a misconceptions that single people are greatly selfish and live only for themselves. While this can be true for some people for some that is not true. When I look back at the time of my life before I met my husband, I realized much of my life was filled with others. I worked, spent time with nieces and nephews and went out dancing with my friends almost every weekend. There were the occasional full weekend to myself but really most of my month I was spending time with someone. I began to realize quickly I needed to set some boundaries with the people I loved. I was healing from a past abusive relationship and I knew if I kept myself busy all the time I would not heal from that trauma. So I began to set aside my Sundays for myself and some Saturdays I resisted calling friends. To be alone and isolated is not wrong or weird. When the Lord puts you in this season He is doing something in your seclusion. Yield to this season and watch the fruits of it show up in the next.

Even the Lord knew how important it was to prioritize alone time with His Father.

“Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:15-16

Are you afraid to be alone?

How can your isolation bring you healing with God?

What are the things that bring you Joy that is just for you?

What day or days can you pick to just give time to yourself?

It is important we practice self preservation so that we do not loose ourselves in the world around us and we can heal from past mistakes. This becomes extremely important when we become wives and later mothers. Learning this importance now will give you the tools to face life’s future hustle and bustle without loosing your true self. Many people say that once you become married you loose yourself but maybe they never learned this important truth before. Life will happen married or not and it’s important we have boundaries. The worries of this world will try to drag you down into pits of despair and you will never reach true empowerment and freedom. But if you just give yourself time with God, you will regain rest for your soul and keep it.

What would your life look like if you had constant peace?

Prayer

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 4:7

Pray that you will have opportunities that will give you more of your time back. Petition the Lord to heal you of your fears of loneliness. Ask the Lord to reveal to you how to use your alone time fruitfully. Pray for understanding of how to implement boundaries respectfully with your loved ones. Ask the Lord to help you be strong when you are enforcing these boundaries as well. Thank the Lord for His promise of perfect peace. In Christ Jesus name. Amen.

Christ mindset

It’s okay for me to be alone. Boundaries are good for me and for my loved ones. My alone time will be fruitful and bring in perfect peace. The Lord hears my prayers and wants what is best for me.

Heart and A cross
A Woman takes a Moment To Be

How My Faith Defined My Womanhood

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

If you ever met me you would know right away that my faith is my life line. I struggled with my identity my entire young life and the only thing that remained the same was my faith. But I wanted to know deeply who I really was and also who I was as a woman. As a young girl I grew up not fully understanding how to really become a woman. Was it sexuality? Was it woman nature within me? What really made me a woman? I became a mother before I even knew the answer to that question.  Prayer took the lead in my discovery and the Word brought me little understanding. It was then in my spirit I knew I would have to walk this out organically. 

What Makes A Woman?

It’s not so much physiology. I couldn’t look at myself and just see what woman I was. No, I discovered it’s spirituality that really made me the woman I am and then wanted to become. In the depths of my soul what would I find there? Well, some terrifying things as I dug through the surface, but as I began to dig deeper, I found the most delicious treasures. Things hidden in me I never knew existed. There was power, strength, love, weakness and beautiful brokenness that turned out to be the most beautiful parts of the woman in me. I will most likely spend the rest of my life putting those pieces together but it is an Odyssey I am greatly enjoying the fruits of. The journey is transforming the heart of me with every breath, every year that leaves me and wisdom is growing like deep roots of a tree.

Bering a woman means being all that God created us to be. Embracing all of feminimty that’s unique and loving the body we are walking in. Allowing the Spirit to bring us to life and cultvating the very essence of our gifts in Christ. Letting our light shine and not allowing the enemy to use our gifts for our destruction. Being our best advocates instead of our own worst enemy. Lifting other women up in sisterhood but also not being afraid to speak the truth which sets them free. Leading with our men with swords in hand and when the battle comes, suit up in our armor of faith and deafeat the enemy and win the war together, This is womanhood spiritually. And every year I’m learning more and more.

Without my faith I would have never discovered all the gifts in me and all the lack. I discovered the path to something fierce. Behind me He was there cheering me on and loving me.

Don’t stop at the outward, not even the surface once you truly begin your discovery. Dig deep and find the core of the trueness of woman inside of you.

Johnnatta Giles

A man thinks and waits

You prayed, But He Didn’t Answer

Published on by Johnnatta Giles5 Comments

This is probably one of the biggest concerns I say many Christians have with their walk with the Lord. I see and hear questions like “What if He doesn’t answer me?” ‘Why do I pray but don’t receive what I pray for?” ,”Will He even hear me?” and even “Why don’t my prayers work?.” First I want to say, God hears everything we say and He sees everything we do, so you don’t ever have to guess if He hears you. The Word is full of stories of people crying out to God and Him answering them. There are also stories of people who say things against God in their heart and He punishes them. Even still, there are stories of how the Lord waits long periods to fulfill promises and answer prayers but yet He still does it. I was watching a video last night talking about this a little. How in the waiting season we think God is doing nothing when all the while He is preparing us and refining us to be able to do the very thing we are asking for. When you think He is silent, He is working. For the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective (James 5:16) therefore we know it will not go unnoticed by Him. The problem is how many of us are praying unrighteously or living a life of disobedience yet we are expecting something from a Holy God.

I could sit here and only give you the happy stuff which is the promises, the goodness of who God is and tell you how faithful He is to those who trust in Him. But today I also want to ask you hard questions maybe you haven’t asked enough of yourself. On your end are you doing what God has told you to do? Are you still committing acts of sin? Have you been giving into temptations that have taken you off the course that God has set you on? Take a moment to take your eyes off the question of why you haven’t received what you asked for. Because let it be known, God will never ignore His children and He will answer in His perfect timing. But sometimes we are keeping ourselves from receiving what we are asking for by trying to make our prayers become a reality (manifesting) or jumping back into things we shouldn’t be in instead of being faithful in the waiting. I often think about Sarah and Abraham and how God gave them a promise and then they intervened by taking it into their own hands. Both Sarah and Abraham committed an act of sin because they lacked the patience and faith in their God. I wonder sometimes, would it have taken as long as it did for Isaac to come? Would Sara have been that old when he was born? Sara was barren, having Isaac in general would have been enough of a miracle within itself! Sometimes our answers are far off and need to be for a reason and sometimes well, it’s our fault it’s taken so long.

So what can we do to make sure it’s not the latter? First step to is to walk away from the sin that is binding you and cast down every temptation. Take back authority in your life, submit your flesh unto the Holy Spirit and then comes the waiting. In the waiting we must be faithful to the Lord in all that He has placed in our hands. What I mean by that is, whatever you are holding right now that is yours focus on that. If you have prayed for a new job, do the best of your abilities in the one you already have for God’s glory. If you don’t have a job and want one take care of your home, children and yourself and focus on your relationship with the Lord until your opportunity arrives. If your praying for healing of a sickness or disease, rest and have faith God heard you and is working on the solution to bring you full healing. Praise God everyday for the prayers already answered, for His provisions and protection, for His undying love and favor over your life.

Lastly, your faith alone will determine what you receive and don’t receive. The Lord has already told you, He withholds no good thing from those who love him (Psalm 84:11) and Jesus said simply just ask (John 14: 14) so all that is left to do is believe (Mark 5:36). Do you believe that what you are asking for God will give to you? Do you trust Him to deliver those very things you ask for in His timing? And do you believe His timing is perfect and never too late? Only believe and what you ask for you shall receive.

For The King!

Johnnatta

A tree growing in a rock

Let Us Be Determined

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments
A tree growing among rocks
A tree doing what it was created to do though it is surrounded by hard circumstances.

I grew up in a small town in Cincinnati Ohio. There wasn’t much there but friends, families and community. In elementary I wanted so badly to beat the school record for climbing rope. While everyone dreaded it every year, I was excited to try it again.  One year our teacher (mostly likely wanting to inspire us to have fun) told us that the record had been held years before we were even born. This peeked our interest.  All of a sudden I was determined to break that record! The third try I studied the way every person climbed and especially those who made it. I took note the shoes they wore and the way their hands gripped the rope. But when it came time for me I failed only reaching halfway.  I was frustrated. My secret goal was hidden from my class because now this was something personal. The next year I was determined to beat that record. I showed up with the right shoes and the mental notes in my head.  As soon as I heard the word “GO” every grip was intentional and I made sure to maintain my speed.  At the top I pushed myself harder than I had ever done.  At the least I would reach the top of this thing! My class was cheering as I did. I finally reached the top! But I forgot to to watch how everyone slid down and I ended up burning my hands. Thank goodness I had jeans on! As soon as my feet hit the floor my gym teacher called out that I had beaten the old record that had stood there since before I arrived at that school! I was shocked and so proud! It was the first time in my life that I realized that I had the power to do what I set my mind to do. I may not always win but my greatest victory was seeing that my hard work produced character and belief in myself.

But in Christ I ALWAYS win.

Brothers and sisters when we see people being bold in ungodliness and determined no matter the backlash to continue to attack and disrupt what is good, why don’t we fight back? Why are we not as determined as they are when we have the wings of thousands upon thousands of angels behind us pushing us forward to do amazing things to combat the darkness? We have the gifts to give children something better than what is in front of them. We have the strength to go the distance because our faith doesn’t rest alone in ourselves but a mighty King that has already over come it all! Rise up I say and be determined to do something instead of shaking your head in disgust. Rise up and allow God to change you so He can use you and watch lives get changed. You can believe in yourself because He is there in you!

God is calling His people out. Come forth and share your gifts! Be apart of the life giving saving grace that is in Christ. Share with the world the light of God through who He made you to be. Be determined to shine and do not fail in doing so! No darkness can overcome the light. Because he has overcome the world you too are an overcomer!

Be bold lions and lionesses of God and go forth in His love. It’s not over yet and He’s not done. Not with the world and not with you!

Shalom

Johnnatta

a family hugging each other

My Children Behave ( Mostly) and This Is Why

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

Yes I’m coming to you with a bold title today because for years I’ve had at this point hundreds of people that have came up to us to tell us how well behaved our kids are. For sometime now I’ve been wanting to write this post but of course when your raising 6 children and living life time gets away with you. Here is just a small bit of advice from a mom of 16 years. Let me take you back in time to the foundations of why our kids are so well behaved (mostly).

Kids will be kids but the love of God is powerful!

My husband and I became parents before we became newlyweds. The pregnancy of our daughter inspired us to change our ways and begin to put God first in our life indefinitely. When she was born that devotion continued and January 2011 we went to church together for the first time as a family. She was only two months old! That local church had family programs then and we started to attend one of them. This was a parenting class based of the book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” which changed both our perspectives on parenting and revealed many failures of our own parentage. We wanted to raise her for the Lord and that meant we had to look at things differently. And so we did. I joke in passing with people when they comment on the behavior of our children and say “We raise them the old school ways!” And in part we do. Many parents from the past generations of this country raised their children based off biblical principles. Children also grew up using the Bible to learn how to read in schools. So many were raised on those moral principles growing up in public and at home. But we took it a step further and wanted to make sure our children were never taught religion. We wanted them to know the full truth of the gospel. Both my husband and I are Christians that have submitted our lives to Jesus Christ, water baptized and baptized in the Holy Spirit. Every Sunday breakfast we read the Word and discuss what it says. We ask them their opinions and we also use the world around them to bring homes these truths. That right there is apologetics in action! We are also honest with our children about spiritual matters. Because like the word says, “We wrestle not against flesh and blood.”

Our kids have loved the Lord since they were babies and they know their God. They know when they pray He hears them. This is something we’ve also taught them since birth but even in their own relationships they have seen first hand. He speaks to them and they hear. They ask Him and He provides. They praise Him and they begin to see more and more. All through their own personal relationship with Him. Some of favorite memories will always be me whispering a song to my babies about how much God loves them, sees them and is with them. They desire more of Him and they know they must do their part. One of my favorite verses that they know well is when God spoke to Cain. “If you do what is right and you will be accepted.” My kids want Him more than they want anything on this earth. And they know when they fall into sin that will only bring them farther away from God.

Our kids were given the foundation that both their parents had with the Lord. Pure love. We taught our kids that not only was God Holy but that He loved them, wanted to know them and He was their friend. They were raised in a home full of worship, prayer and dedicated parents who loved the WORD. Our eldest daughter is water baptized and baptized in the Holy Spirit, the next 3 after her have been water baptized and the babies are still growing in body and spirit. They love God more than they love us and that is all I have ever prayed for! He is and will always be their greatest love!

Discipline is a must for growing children!

Let’s talk about one of the most controversial subjects concerning childrearing. Discipline. No matter what your stance is on discipline it must be done in the interest of creating character, self control, emotional control and wisdom. This is something that can make or break a functioning adult one day. Whenever it comes time to discipline our kids from toddlerhood we taught them the principles in the book we read that, their behavior not only affects them, but the people around them and their relationship with the Lord. They know when they are disobedient to us they are also being disobedient to God. Because they love Him and trust us to do His will only they have always understood this. In order for this to remain true it was highly important that we raised them according to Gods word, not our feelings, not what was trending and not what anyone else thought we should or shouldn’t do. They are also taught when they misbehave in public it is disrespectful to the people around them. Example: this is not your store to do as you please. The people in this restaurant are having a nice peaceful dinner and you are disrupting that. The hospital is full of patients resting and healing you are not to act a fool and disrupt that. These things though are only taught depending on the age. Because a baby is a baby and has every right to cry in public and when toddler is tired they are tired. But when a child is old enough to know better they are taught to be mindful of the people around them and have respect for others.

Though we are not perfect we do make every effort to lead our kids towards righteous no matter what. We raise them according to who God says each individual child is and we discipline them according to their own needs personality wise. As I said before we are not perfect so the times we do mess up we quickly repent to them for it and ask for forgiveness. Because of these things our children have a innate understanding that we are not hurting them or taking from them but helping move their hearts towards God’s will and therefore they receive either blessings or punishments based on that alone. Our kids know deeply we love them and we have a established a deep trust which in turn creates respect for us with them and them with us.

Even a child will reap what they sow

Oftentimes people think that because children are small and young their mistakes will not necessarily translate to big consequences. Many times I hear people say “They are just a kid it’s not that big of a deal!” But kids learn in those moments what they will get away with and what they won’t. There is room for grace with a child but it shouldn’t be handed out so easily or frequently. On the other side good behavior should always be praised and sometimes rewarded! I learned a long time ago to not frequently give rewards every time because my kids started doing things just to get in the treat bucket! So I began to reward them for only certain things. My kids know the simple truth of what you sow you shall reap. My four year old was in trouble about two week ago and I bent down to her level and explained to her, when you choose to do what is wrong you choose to gain what is bad. But if you choose to do what is right then you receive rewards of good things. In order to help her understand this before her four year old brain forgot it, the next time she chose to do what was right I repeated it to her and then gave her a treat. That specific thing she was getting in trouble with she no longer does anymore. This mama helped her at her level overcome! My older kids are different. When you get teens a lot of things you did when they were younger just won’t work. From the time my eldest was a toddler she hated to sweat. She would be running around having a good time and start sweating and stop and want to go in the house! To this day she doesn’t like it much so when she was in trouble about a few years ago I had her run three laps around the house. That worked for her, I honestly have not done it since but it’s still in my arsenal in case I need it! In addition, all of my kids understand the elementary truth of sin and righteousness. We are teaching our children to hunger after righteousness and then making a point to give them real life rewards when they do. A trip to get ice cream, go to the park, go see a theater production and even vacations! They get to live the good life when they choose to do good things! We of course have a reward system for our kids and their chores but we make sure they know that is a privilege and can be taken at anytime if bad behavior persists. What we will not do is take away anything that is helping them develop their God given gifts. One of my kids plays piano and we will not keep her from her lessons if she is in trouble because we know the Lord has called her to that and she has a great gif for it. But she loves to mess around with a camera I gave her. And when she is in trouble we take back the camera for a little while. Discipline no matter what must be done with great discernment.

They truly know we love them deeply

I always said I spoil my babies with love! All of my kids get many kisses and hugs. We tell them daily we love them and make a point when they are succeeding to tell them how proud we are of the. When arguments arise we make sure we are fair and stand up for the ones that have been wronged. We choose them over what the world thinks and says and we defend them with a fierceness in spite of it. We share with them our faults, our prayers (answered and unanswered) and our mistakes. They know us and know we love them for who they are. I wish I could tell you we do all of this based off of some human wisdom and revelation but we couldn’t do any of it without the strength and leading of the living spirit within us. So I leave you with this. Instead of wondering why your kids do not behave think about what it is you can do to change and redeem yourself back to your children. What can you do from then on to foster mutual respect, authority, love and meaningful relationship? I’ll give you the only thing I know that works.

Jesus

As their mother I have always went by these three Ps: persistence, patience and prayer. I have always been persistent with my kids I have always been patient with them and when they are struggling to over come I have always prayed with them. Many times I have fallen into the trap of complacency and have reaped the terrible rewards of it. I always say to my husband “I don’t know why we do it to ourselves! If we do our jobs we will inherit better behaving kids and therefore a life that is much more peaceful.” Sometimes I am just tired and need a break, Sometimes I have been neglecting my own spirit and the flesh gets in the way. Sometimes I’m just human! But I thank God I eventually get my act together! Because then I can go out to the movies, I can go out to eat, I can go on a riverboat, I can go shopping, I can go to a live theatre production all with my husband and all of my 6 kids! Because they behave!!!! And it’s all because of the very foundational things I just wrote to you. Moms and dads give yourself a break and begin to shepherding your child’s heart and watch the rewards of it spill over into your life.

Love

Johnnatta

Practical Ways To Get Your Pink Back!

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Practical Ways To Get Your Pink Back After A Baby 

The days of just surviving after having a baby is over! A new trend called “Getting your Pink Back” is in. As a mother of 6 children I can tell you this is something I have struggled with maintaining and have tried many different ways to getting myself back after each child. Here’s my advice!

Wait.. what does getting your pink back even mean?

Many influencing mom have their own takes on it including one of the first referencing flamingo’s and their offspring. Look that up later! But here’s my take on things. As mother’s when our babies are first born our instincts are to nurture our new life in the world. It can take a lot out of us as we focus on our baby’s needs and in some areas we do the bare minimum for ourselves just to get through the day or even years. This isn’t a bad thing but after a certain period there comes a time where we gain a little more sleep and get small bits of time back in our day. The problem is the latter part when we tend to find ways to fill up the new recovered time with everything else but ourselves. We go back to work, we give our kids more of us as they grow and if we have them, our spouses and partners more time as well. That’s when we find there’s little time for ourselves and so the neglect continues when it doesn’t necessarily need to.

I’m always going to advocate for both mom health and baby health. But one doesn’t have to be without the other. You can nourish your body even in the “healing” phase of motherhood which is postpartum and beyond to get your pink back so to speak. Here’s a few ways to do that from my own experiences.

Begin the Healing

Yoga may not be your thing but some form of stretching works wonders. You can take 15 to 20 minutes everyday and become stronger with little effort by doing stretch exercises. I call them my lazy workouts though there’s nothing lazy about them. They really do work if your goal is focused on healing instead of immediate weight loss. Focus on abdominal repair work outs and check if you have diastasis recti .This is a common condition post pregnancy but also can be healed naturally. Wear your belly support bands ladies during pregnancy and get ones for postpartum too they really work!

Clean eating can be as easy as switching from fast food hamburgers to nutrient dense soups and casseroles. WHAT I can eat a healthy casserole? Absolutely! Change your basic cheap macaroni full of preservatives to ones with better whole ingredients and Voila! Carbs are not always your enemy. It’s what the carb is made of that is!

Start A Natural Beauty Routine

Your skin needs you babe! Our hormones are fluctuating during the first few weeks to even years after having a baby and it’s not the time to experiment with chemical ridden cosmetics. Get to know your skin by investing in natural products or go the DIY route. A face mask daily refreshes the skin and gives you a little treat. My favorite masks are mud and charcoal. Begin a morning and night routine and do your best to stick with it!. My favorite two cleansers are raw unfiltered honey and castle soap. Moisturizers I live by is aloe vera leaf (from the plant) and olive oil. If these natural products don’t work switch up and find ones that work. Natural soaps like goat milk soap is great to cleanse the skin with. Coconut oil and caster oil are great oils for moisturizing to try as well. Don’t sleep on the ice! It really does work! Use ice cubes or ice rollers to shrink pores and improve circulation. It’s not just a beauty routine but a self discovery journey as well!

The Mama Clothes May Have To Go!

From maternity clothes to the clothes you bought just to exist in during the 4th trimester, it’s time to let them go! It’s okay to freshen up your closet to match your current season. You don’t have to throw them away but you can save them for future pregnancies or donate them. Find clothing that flatter your body and make you feel good instead of going by trends. Trends can be exciting but also very disheartening if what’s on trend doesn’t look as good on you as it does on everyone on social media. Have a friend, spouse or family member go with you shopping to help with the baby while you try on new clothes. Or browse the Internet during nap time and shop from your own style board you made on Pinterest. This is one of my favorite things to do after having one of the kids to get my “pink” back! 

Mom Hair But We Do Care

We are at that point, in society that we just don’t give a you know what. We’re doing our best and it’s become very popular to just accept others as they are and ourselves. Which I love! But at one point we have to rise up out of the “it is what it is” survival pit. It has it’s place but we are moving on. Rather we want to admit it or not there’s something powerful about our hair. It can change everything about how we feel about ourselves and in fact sometimes one of the first things we do when going through a big change is we change our hair! I was notorious for big chops when I was younger. And if you’re ready for it girl do you! But you can also go in for a refresh hair cut to clip your ends or try a new layering style. It doesn’t even have to be a hair cut. When I was pregnant with my last munchkin, my goal was to grow my hair after she was born. I’ve been trying new routines to see which one worked with less effort as having 6 kids ain’t no joke! But I am determined to find time to give to this goal. I wash my hair once a week, deep condonation with one leave in product after washing, style my hair once, do an oil treatment before shampooing and repeat.  This protected my hair from shedding too much during the dreaded postpartum shed and my hair is healing and growing! Getting a fresh start with our hair feels like letting a load off and it’s very refreshing.

Girl YOU MATTER So Act Like It!

You gave life to someone else now you must give life back to yourself. You don’t have to go to the gym, take a bunch of supplements or spend a bunch of money to get your pink back. The natural ways are always cost effective and the most effective from experience. But remember don’t be so quick to jump on this trend right after birth because at the end of the day you and your baby’s bond is what matters the most. Enjoy the newborn phase because it’s the quickest of them all! 

xoxo

Johnnatta

A Mother’s Worship

Published on by Johnnatta Giles3 Comments

Pitter patter pat. I look up from my work on my queen sized bed and notice little black hairs escaping a head full of long silk curls. Someone’s coming to give me a kiss goodnight and to tell me something funny her baby sister just did. She climbs onto the bed and I open my arms for a tight hug. I then bring my hands to her face, cupping her sweet golden brown cheeks. Two kisses for each! As she climbs down to tell me something, I listen and respond but also take a moment to worship the Lord. I’m in awe that such a beautiful being could ever come from my husband and I. In silence, I’m thanking the Lord for it and committing myself deeper to His plan. Because this little one was born out of a promise between Him and I. And I’ll never forget it.

The power of in the moment worship

In the last few months, I have had a really rough time. My husband just went through a medical emergency and that has made me the primary caregiver of everyone in the house. He’s gaining his strength back but It’s going to take time. Sometimes I don’t realize just how tired and stressed I am. But in that moment I stopped and worshipped the Lord. Doing that took a tired and worn out mama and spread peace throughout my being. It was just what I needed after the se last few months of hardship. Many people view worship as a way to spend time with the Lord. But in reality there are many things worship is for and actually does. Worship also is a way the Holy Spirit rises up in us and gives us what we need in that moment. Do you need strength? Peace? Rest? Wisdom? Answers. Take a moment to Worship. Worship is a place of surrender so that the Lord can have space to give you exactly what you need in that season of your life. What around you can you give God praise for? What in your life can you give thanksgiving? Is there something that just happened that you can be humbled in gratitude about? Take e beat, and worship at His feet! People tell you to pray often but I’m telling you mama, to worship. Worship as often as you pray! There’s healing in that small moment of praise.

No matter what life throws at you, God can breathe life back into you again. And He does it a lot of the time in the smallest ways. Will you give Him just a moment so He can fill you back up again?

xo Johnnatta

Womanhood in Motherhood

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

One topic I would love to dive deep into on MFS is my experiences with motherhood. I cannot even begin to count how many times strangers have come up me (and still do) and tell me how beautiful and well behaved my children are. Deepening on the conversation and the time I have I kindly thank them and tell them it’s because I do my job. with a lot of hard work. Once my mom asked me how I did it with all the children I have and I told her point blank, THE LORD. Although these explanations can be seen as generalizations, in reality these simple responses hold much stories, revelations and true spiritual maturity on both my part and my husband’s.

Is Womanhood and Motherhood two separate things? In reality the are one and the same

I heard a saying, maybe a few, that motherhood and womanhood are two different things. Have you heard the whispers of this belief? It was loud and clear in my teens and even as a young woman. But I don’t hear it as much around me as I used to. But everyone once in awhile it pops up online. Oh the world of technology where nothing is really forgotten!

I’m a bit rebellious against the world, doing the opposite of what I’m told to do and instead embarking on journeys to figure things out for myself. I have been called stubborn and I have bluntly agreed. I can be taught but I’d rather do the teaching. In order for me to impart wisdom I have to seek truth for myself. And this was one of those things.

Was I no longer a woman when I became a mother?  As I raised the first when she was my only, I came to the realization that, a full womb does not mark the end of me but creates a stronger me, if I let it. Motherhood has raised a lionesses on the inside of me I never thought I could be. It taught me in fact how powerful women can be. How powerful I can be. Motherhood is an added bonus to womanhood. In order to become a mother you must first be a woman. It’s apart of the journey for those who choose it and it can take on many forms.

I never had to give up all of me to be the best mother I could be. Things change like they do with any life decision. I shifted, I molded and even sometimes I had to go into a type of metamorphosis. Becoming something new so I could expand my view on life and my capacity to love and learn. The parts of me that died away after I held those small fist and counted every tiny toe were replaced with fresh new eyes that saw wonder in a new way.  I had changed for the better. But much still remained and I still remain true to those things that will always be apart of who I am.

Don’t be afraid to be who you are in front of your children. In truth we should be growing with them while raising them but not in self denial. Self sacrifice is good for the common good of you both. But if you find the need to make changes that surly is for the best for your child just know that is not a form of self denial. Too often women fall into this trap and warrior women it brings on nothing but regret shame and unfulfillment which inevitable trickles over into to your mothering.

My children created the woman I am today. I have watched them grow and they have seen me at my rawest truest form. They know full well that I am their mama but I am also my own separate person. Sometimes as women we need to remember that for ourselves. I am proud to be both a woman and mother. They are apart of who I am and always will be.

Be proud, stand tall.

oxoxo

Johnnatta Giles | Owner of VC