Tag: dating

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Waiting on Your Mate With God | Devotional 6

Published on by Johnnatta Giles3 Comments

Soulmates and Soul Ties

Sometimes there is a confusion between what a soul mate is and a person you may have soul ties with. Soul ties are demonic strongholds that often time present themselves in your relationships. These relationships often are fueled by heightened emotions. These emotions range from over excitement to love sickness. Along with these emotions they will be accompanied by obsession, confusion, chaos and heart break. This constantl roller coaster of feelings will recycle itself over and over again as long as you have a relationship with this person. But when you find a soulmate this man will always bring a spirit of peace, deep love, spiritual fruit and oneness.

Are there men in your life that brings you pain and chaos?

How many past relationships have you experienced soul ties?

Have you ever felt you were with a soul mate only for them to end up abusive and neglectful?

Do you believe that spiritual influences affect your relationships like the Bible says? Why or Why not?

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

When we talk about relationships we cannot ignore the spiritual element of this topic. When a woman is in a relationship that constantly produces chaos and pain the enemy is present in that relationship. This does not mean that the enemy will not attack a God centered relationship but the massive difference in a soul tie relationship and a soul mate one is the soul mate will always produce peace even in the midst of storms. Before I met my husband I was “in love” with a guy and experienced this for the first time in my adult life. Every time I was around him or thought about him I would instantly feel over excitement and love sick. So love sick to the point I could not eat. I had the same experience with my first boyfriend when I was 16 years old. But then I thought it was just a teenage phase until it happened again with the next young man. I was older by then and was spiritually mature enough to know this was not normal. We flirted back and forth often but I always felt he was out of reach. The guy would play mind games and my attraction to him kept pulling me back in. When I realized how this was affecting me I began to pray and ask God to help me. Soon I was healed and delivered but this spirit would not let up that easy. Months later I met my husband and we were in a relationship. They guy I was once interested in was still in my friend circle so avoiding him was near impossible. The guy knew I had moved on and all of a sudden became more interested in me. I completely ignored him but noticed the pull of this spiritually force anytime we were near each other. It got to the point where I could no longer hang out with friends when he was around. With a soul tie it is always a demonic presence involved. It’s not so much the person but there is a spirit dwelling among that relationship to bring chaos and disruption. For your sake let this guy go. He is there by design distracting you from following the will of God in your life.

When a man and woman become one flesh as it states in Matthew 19:6, this is a spiritual connection. When a soul mate enters the scene, you will notice that you are at peace with him. When God is involved the first thing He will want you to know is that you are safe. You will sense this spiritually not outwardly. Safety does not always mean what a man does for you but what spirit he brings with him. This is why we took so much time to address your own spiritual state because it will be the deciding factor in helping you find the one. A man can be nice to you, make you feel empowered and put you first but sometimes those are power plays of an abusive controlling man. A soul mate will put God first in his life and therefore will operate in your relationship that honors God above all else. This is true security with a man not how much money he brings. Life happens and sometimes people loose jobs and miss out on opportunities, but if God is first in a man’s life you can have peace in knowing that man will always be able to provide you with what you may need to keep you secure physically, finically and spiritually. A soulmate will not play games with you. He will be upfront on who he is and what he wants out of your relationship. He won’t float around the idea of marriage he will know if that is in his plans or not. A man of God plays no games with your heart because he understands that your a God’s daughter. My husband and I have had our share of trials as a married couple. One thing has always been true for us is that no matter what we have gone through God has held us together and peace has remained. When you are with the one you were made for, and God bring you both together it is His spirit that holds you as one.

Are you ready to leave behind your soul ties and wait on your soulmate?

Prayer

Pray that the Lord will help you identify soul ties in your relationships even the non romantic ones. Rebuke the enemy from your midst as you have the authority to do so in the name of Jesus Christ according to Luke 10:19. Pray over yourself for healing, restoration and peace. Ask the Lord to give you the gift of the Spirit according to His will and give you eyes that see and ears that hear. Ask the Lord to reveal to you the plans of the enemy and pray against those plans. Pray for protection against those the enemy uses to attack you and keep you in chaos. Pray for them that God will deliver them and set them free of demonic influence. In Jesus Christ name, Amen.

Christ Mindset

According to Luke 10:19 I have authority in Jesus Christ to rebuke the devil, his plans and his cohorts. I want to be set free and I proclaim I am set free in the name of Jesus Christ. The enemy has no authority over me. The Lord in His perfect timing will lead my soul mate to me. The Lord loves me and does all things for my good and therefore anything that comes to me that produces evil is not of Him. Anything good is from the Lord anything bad is from the devil.

Heart and A cross
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Waiting On Your Mate With God Devotional 5

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

A Courting Guide

I hear all the time how horrifying it is to date in modern times. But when has dating ever been easy? Dating itself is a very new and modern way of finding a spouse. Before this people used to court in various ways. Some ways were good and some ways not so much like arranged marriages. Although these ways may seem ancient, they had better success than dating has. The biggest difference I have observed from the past way of finding a spouse is you had a community or family to support you and help you make this decision. Unfortunately so many of us come from broken homes and fractured relationships that we just don’t have that support like we used to. Thank God for the Holy Spirit and the discernment He brings.

What do you know about the difference between dating and courting?

Do you think courting is old fashioned?

Are you willing to leave behind dating?

Will you trust God only to help you find the one?

“It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me.” John 6:45

Jesus quoted the prophecy above to remind the people that we are now led by God himself and though we may lack spiritual guidance in the people around us, God will always teach us His ways directly. Modern dating actually does the opposite. It takes out the Lord being in control and puts you in control. It’s you deciding who you want to be with based off your limited knowledge about yourself and others. It may sound unrealistic to rely on God to help you court, but you can never fail when God is in control. Here are some steps through my own experience that will help you court effectively.

Ask all the questions and do not let your feelings for him stop you from asking important ones!

My husband and I asked every question we could think of, all over text message. In between our work days we would respond to questions and at night before bed we talked on the phone. We quickly became fast friends and it was becoming obvious we were falling for each other. So I prayed one night to the Lord for discernment. “Lord, I really like this guy and I need to ask him the important questions. The answer to these non negotiables will determine if I move forward with this man in an actual relationship. It will break my heart if the amswers are not what I want to hear but I am putting you first above all else.” I sent my husband the first question.” Do you want children in the future?” His answer was yes. Then right before I could send the second question he actually sent it right back to me and asked “Do you have a relationship with God?” and I said, “God is everything to me.” And those two questions confirmed to us both that God had led us to each other.

What are your top 3 non negotiables? If he does not want those things in his future it may be time to move on.

On your meet ups don’t focus so much on what your doing get to know each other deeply.

My husband and I went to the movies our first time hanging out together. It was during this time together I learned just how much the Lord meant to him and I felt convicted about some of the lack in my own faith. On the way home we talked about spiritual things and our beliefs about the world around us. This conversation continued to confirm we were absolutely made for each other. It’s important to express your deepest beliefs with each other even if you think the guy your talking to may judge you. Your beliefs matter. These beliefs are what makes you who you are and it’s important that you match up with your future spouse because these will be the foundation of your marriage and your family. The Bible constantly warns us to not be unequally yoked. It never tells us we should marry a spouse in hopes of turning them towards God. In fact the Lord consistently warns His people that those who marry outside of the faith will have issues with thier spouses turning them away from Him. This is why it is forbidden for God’s people to marry anyone who is not of the same faith. So do not ignore this important step.

Take it slow it will be so worth it!

My husband and I definitely did things backwards at first. We had sex before we were married and we became parents before we were husband and wife two months into our relationship. But not too long after we discovered I was pregnant we decided to sleep in separate rooms and wait until marriage to have sex again. Someone said to us it doesn’t really matter at that point since we were already expecting a baby. But redemption does matter and we wanted to honor God! It reminds me of the story of the King Nebucanzer. Where he was warned to turn from his sin and choose God. But he continued to sin and got exactly what God said he would get. Nebecanzaer could have just said “What’s the point? I’ve been punished might as well keep going and live my life!” But he didn’t. He praised God and gave himself fully over to the Lord even more so and God blessed him with an abundant life better than his life before. It’s never too late to start over. Our desire to honor God never stopped despite our mistakes. God even gave us favor in trying to do that in the blessing of our daughter. She was born beautiful and perfectly healthy a testimony to God’s faithfulness when we repent and choose Him. Our blessings only increased and the Lord continues to this day showing us favor. Do not rush into anything and if you already have it’s not too late to turn things around. You will be blessed.

Do not skip premarital counseling.

When you do get engaged to be married pre martial counseling is absouletly worth it. Think of it as the final moments to get to know each other even more and test your relationship’s resilence. Our counselar said to us that it was his job to try to break us up because if we can talk about the hard things and get through them we can have a succesful marriage. That sorta terrified me but once we got started I saw the power and fruits of it. Because of counseling we had the tools we needed to deal with communication issues and our first few years were greatly blessed. Many people wait far too long to do counseling as a couple. They tend to start when things have gone wrong. But if you would start off getting help in the beginning your will avoid a lot of headaches the first few years of your marriage. If you have a trustworthy minister or Christian counselor led by the spirit and biblically based, ongoing counseling will greatly bless you as well. There is a reason the Bible encourages it because having a neutural party help you come to reconcilliation and understanding helps avoid years of marriage hardship. But if you don’t have this support pray together and study the word together. Share scriptures with one another throughout your work weeks. Find time to pray and Bible study in person. That alone will be enough because the Holy Spirit is the great counselor.

Prayer

Pray that the Lord will help you move out of the dating mindset and show you how to court for your spouse. Pay that He would help you be brave to express your no negotibales and put Him first above all else. Ask the Lord to give you strength to be patient even when you know you love the man in front of you. Pray that the Holy Spirit will give you self control which is a fruit of the spirit. Pray for the man you are speaking to, even if you have to part ways. In Jesus Christ name. Amen.

Christ Mindset

The Lord is faithful to me therefore He can lead me to the right person. I have peace that surpasses all understanding so I do not have to fear when I give things over to God. He knows me deeply and knows what’s best for me.

Heart and A cross
A bible is surrounded by cozy things

Waiting On Your Mate With God | Devotional 3

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

Self Preservation and Boundaries

It is a misconceptions that single people are greatly selfish and live only for themselves. While this can be true for some people for some that is not true. When I look back at the time of my life before I met my husband, I realized much of my life was filled with others. I worked, spent time with nieces and nephews and went out dancing with my friends almost every weekend. There were the occasional full weekend to myself but really most of my month I was spending time with someone. I began to realize quickly I needed to set some boundaries with the people I loved. I was healing from a past abusive relationship and I knew if I kept myself busy all the time I would not heal from that trauma. So I began to set aside my Sundays for myself and some Saturdays I resisted calling friends. To be alone and isolated is not wrong or weird. When the Lord puts you in this season He is doing something in your seclusion. Yield to this season and watch the fruits of it show up in the next.

Even the Lord knew how important it was to prioritize alone time with His Father.

“Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:15-16

Are you afraid to be alone?

How can your isolation bring you healing with God?

What are the things that bring you Joy that is just for you?

What day or days can you pick to just give time to yourself?

It is important we practice self preservation so that we do not loose ourselves in the world around us and we can heal from past mistakes. This becomes extremely important when we become wives and later mothers. Learning this importance now will give you the tools to face life’s future hustle and bustle without loosing your true self. Many people say that once you become married you loose yourself but maybe they never learned this important truth before. Life will happen married or not and it’s important we have boundaries. The worries of this world will try to drag you down into pits of despair and you will never reach true empowerment and freedom. But if you just give yourself time with God, you will regain rest for your soul and keep it.

What would your life look like if you had constant peace?

Prayer

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 4:7

Pray that you will have opportunities that will give you more of your time back. Petition the Lord to heal you of your fears of loneliness. Ask the Lord to reveal to you how to use your alone time fruitfully. Pray for understanding of how to implement boundaries respectfully with your loved ones. Ask the Lord to help you be strong when you are enforcing these boundaries as well. Thank the Lord for His promise of perfect peace. In Christ Jesus name. Amen.

Christ mindset

It’s okay for me to be alone. Boundaries are good for me and for my loved ones. My alone time will be fruitful and bring in perfect peace. The Lord hears my prayers and wants what is best for me.

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Waiting On Your Mate With God| Devotional 2

Published on by Johnnatta Giles3 Comments

Forgiveness and Letting Go

Sometimes our past haunts us to the point of crippling us. Men of in our past will periodically pop back up in our minds. This often happens when we are the most vulnerable. We cannot erase our past. But in order to go beyond it we must let go of the relationships that went no where and ended. Our first loves, our first kiss and the first time our heart quickened for someone else only to be rejected. The pain or the joy of those moments are like vapor in the wind. There yesterday but gone today. Some of those experiences mattered, some of them not so much. But remember daughter you are not the same as you were then. At least, you shouldn’t be. In order to prepare ourselves for our future we must slow burn our past and say goodbye.

What relationship memories are you hanging onto you need to let go?

How did God heal you from those past experiences?

If He hasn’t healed you, pray for healing. If He has praise Him when the past comes to haunt.

What did you learn from those relationships and how did they affect who you are now?

Reach out and forgive who you need you forgive. or let go of those you can’t contact, give them to God.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15

A healed heart has more room to be filled with Joy and love in the future.

Are you afraid to confront your past? If so why is that and what steps can you take to move past it?

Contrary to popular belief, forgiveness begins with repentance. Think of how in order to be forgiven from God, we must first acknowledge we are sinners then ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t something that can be given without the first part happening. Often times people say they have forgiven someone yet they have never actually talked to the person in order to do this. That is why confrontation is so important. The generations of today are afraid to confront people as if it’s a terrible thing. But in reality if we miss the opportunity to talk to the ones who hurt us or whom we have hurt, we are missing a great opportunity of true forgiveness. When it comes to romantic relationships it does not mean we are agreeing with everything that was done to us or we are interested in being in a relationship again. All this does is give you and opportunity to say your peace (not in frustration or anger) and also apologize if you have done anything wrong. This opens up the door on the other persons end to do the same and then comes forgiveness. However if you were in a previous abusive relationship confrontation shouldn’t be considered. Then how do you find peace? Letting them go is an act of surrendering them to the Lord. Do what you can only do by letting go of feelings of bitterness, hurt, anger and shame. Letting these feelings go does not mean the person is absolved from all wrong doing, but allows your heart to truly heal. Doing this ensures that resentment and bitterness will never take root in you creating a mess of problems with your future life.

Will you let God restore you His way?

Prayer

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Pray for wisdom in how you should confront your past and obey the Lord when He gives you the answer. Pray and ask God to show you the parts of yourself that need to be revealed that is harboring the sins of unforgiveness and bitterness. Ask the Lord to heal your broken heart and restore your spirit. Ask Him to fill you again with light, joy and peace. Pray that He will help you keep your thoughts and attentions on your relationship with Him and let go of the past. In Jesus Christ name Amen.

Christ Mindset

I can confront my past because it no longer has power over me. Rather anyone forgives me or not God sees my heart and will give me peace. I can let the past go. The past has no hold on me.

Heart and A cross
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Waiting On Your Mate With God | Devotional 1

Published on by Johnnatta Giles2 Comments

When I was young I came to a realization that I had wasted much of my teen years chasing after guys and healing from heart break after heart break. So when I see that more and more younger women are choosing to wait on their mates it fills me with great joy! But I know how exhausting it is just trying to navigate life when your just starting to live it and putting relationship drama on top of that makes it even harder. But also for our seasoned women, I know the heart ache of wondering if you will ever find your soulmate, the loneliness and the pain of regret. Many women are full of dread and wonder if they will ever meet the one that God has for them. Lord willing, you will in His perfect timing! So how do we prepare for this future in a spiritual way? Maybe this devotional will help you find those answers, bring you healing and joy as you wait on your mate with God. This devotional will post every Tuesday once a week at 8:00 am for the next 6 weeks. Take a moment to read the word, reflect and center yourself and your relationship with the Lord as you read this devotional weekly. The hope is to begin your week with the devotional and take time to reflect, pray and journal your answers as the week progresses. May it truly bless you no matter where you are in your journey! Today is week one!

Timing and Foundations

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” Psalm 90:12

To be wise is to be wealthy! The main thing I prayed as young girl was God give me wisdom! These waiting days are for breaking down walls, healing bruises and gaining new perspective. All of which leads to gaining wisdom. Don’t waste it. When we give ourselves permission to slow down and breathe something begins to shift in us. In these moments of stillness, reflect on your life and where it’s headed in the next week, two months and even a year. 

How does it make you feel to think about your goals in life? 

How would a mate fit into those goals?

Do your goals need to change?

Are you happy where you are?

God’s timing is perfect. Never too late and never too early. But it can be lonely in the waiting period. The unknown is a scary place to dwell but the Lord’s strong hand is upon you. Hold fast!

Can you trust God to lead you to your mate and your mate to you? If not what’s getting in your way of doing so?

The Lord is patient with us and long suffering even when we turn from Him in the moments we should draw closer to Him. Take it from me. The moment I told the Lord I give up on that part of my life was when it opened up the opportunity for what He had for me to move towards me. That surrender was painful but so so sweet! It came faster than I expected but I was so relieved I decided to trust God! My husband is far beyond what I would have chosen for myself. God did His big one when He made Jimmy Giles for me!  In your singleness do not doubt or fear because God knows exactly what you need. Speak life over yourself and your relationship with the Lord and trust in the one that sees you, knows you and loves you like no one else could.  When the time comes for you and your mate to meet, he will receive a great prize in a shining beautiful wise woman. And your relationship will be starting on a rock solid foundation in Christ. But that foundation must start in you first.

Can you trust Him?

Prayer

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassion never fail. They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness” Lamentations 3:23-23

Pray for peace in this time of waiting and pray that the Lord may fill you up with wisdom and discernment. Ask the Lord to give you eyes that see so you are not misled by men that disguise themselves as “the one”. Give thanks to the Lord for His faithfulness and promises. Praise Him for being the creator, the author and deliverer of your life. Give Him thanks for your blessed days. In Jesus Christ name Amen.

Christ Mindset

God accepts me as I am and will help me be all that I was created to be. I am not alone. I have living waters flowing within me. Joy lives in me. Peace reigns in me because of Christ in me.

Next: Waiting on Your Mate With God Devotional 2