Tag: fatherhood

The Power Of Fathers

Published on by Johnnatta Giles4 Comments

Everything changed when your little baby was born and I bet your mind is racing with questions and wonder all at once! What do I need to do to protect them? Will this change things between their mom and I? How do I as a dad bond with my baby? 

Dad’s matter!

We’re here to answer in part the last question. Over the generations society has failed in educating and advocating for father’s when it comes to bonding with their babies. All too often they are treated as the extra person in the room. But you’re not! You are just as important as mom is! Father bonding can look similar to how mom bonds but when dad’s do it he adds his own uniqueness to it. That is because men are greatly different from women, physically mentally and in personality.  Here are some suggestions that you may have heard of but with a twist toward how dads may do it. And feel free to add more onto the list! 

Skin to skin with dad

Skin to skin refers to when you place a baby up against your bare chest allowing your skin and baby’s skin to touch underneath a blanket. It isn’t just a great way for Mom to bond with baby and enhances both her health and babies health and recovery but it’s great for men too! 

According to this study Effects of Father-Neonate Skin-t o-Skin Contact on Attachment: A Randomized Controlled Trial men and babies benefit from this special time, increasing you and your baby’s attachment relationship. Try skin to skin when Mom needs a rest postnatal or right before bedtime! Tell your little one about your glory days, you’re favorite football team or the day you met mommy. If you’re not quite sure what to say yet just know at newborn stage you’re presence is enough. Just resting in the silence with your baby gives them all they need.

Burping after breastfeeding 

If your baby is bottle fed, feeding your baby is one way to join in on bonding time. But when mom breastfeeds for obvious reasons you can’t quite help with that. But when Mom is done breastfeeding you can take the baby to help them burp after each feeding of both breasts. Mom feeds on one side, you burp baby, then mom feeds on another side, then you burp baby. Burping is always seen on television as the calm before the storm of vomit. But take it from the baby’s perspective how comforting and relaxing a nice massage is! And your strong but gentle hands are much different from moms. This aides in helping baby identify you uniquely. Don’t underestimate how smart they are, the more you have physical touch with them the more they’ll attach to you and know your their daddy!

Morning Praise 

Far too often we forget how powerful praise and affirmations are. Especially as parents. Taking a moment to send up praises, thanksgiving and worship to God every morning brings in a sunshine for the day even cloudy days couldn’t hinder! From the moment I knew I was carrying my little ones I praised God every morning. When they were born I sang a little hymn as I got them dressed for their day or began breakfast. Your baby will treasure their daddy’s praises and foster a sense of humbleness and thankfulness as they grow up. Even if it’s just a few words of thanksgiving, it’s bound to bring memories for years to come!

Diaper Idol 

When it comes to men they have a great ability at making the most random things fun. Even changing diapers! Some babies absolutely hate getting changed but when dad turns into his own rock show who can resist? Or even a play by play of a basketball game. It’s bound to be the funniest clean up ever! Hearing your voice and your own personality helps baby to feel bonded with you specifically. And the caregiver aspect of diaper changing lets them know you are there to fulfill their needs just as much as mom is. That double sense of security is everything for an infant!

Nap master

Babies take a ton of naps and so there is plenty of chances for you to hold baby and help them drift off to sleep. Dads can either implement skin to skin and rocking the baby to sleep, singing a lullaby or reading the baby a book. Though it may seem silly that a baby would care about all of this remember, your baby is bonding to your voice and presence, not the story of a book.

Pushing the stroller

Moms enjoy being hands on with their babies but sometimes they need a moment to just be in their own autonomy. Whenever you go out put baby in the stroller and push the stroller. When it’s time to head back into the car give your girl a kiss, open the door for her to get in, then put that sweetheart of yours back in the car seat as well. It’s not embarrassing to be a father in public. It’s a great honor and only you can do it! 

Tummy time play

Tummy time is a very important aspect of infant development. Tummy time not only helps strengthen babies back and neck muscles  but also ensures that they do not get what is called “flat head”. You can either do tummy time on your chest of flat on the floor.  Infants do not always enjoy this exercise but with your dad skills you can make it more enjoyable. Root on your little one and make a game of it! Put baby down on their tummy for about 5 seconds pick them up and tickle, giggle or give them a swosh right back down on their tummy again. Do this for about a minute and then allow your baby to do tummy time on their own for the remainder of the time. We never did tummy time for ten minutes. We just did 5 minutes on the chest at one point in the day and about a handful of minutes on the floor. At the end of the day the goal is just to make sure baby isn’t on their backs for too long. And adding a fun element will help baby not feel so stressed out. 

Dinner champion

This is an obvious one but taking up the first night feeding is a great way to bond with baby. It’s soothing and relaxing to a baby to have a night routine and it’s a beautiful thing that the baby will eventually associate their daddy to their nighttime feedings when you do them every night. How awesome is it to give your baby that security knowing it came right from their papa! 

Bedtime Prayer

One of my favorite ways my husband has bonded with his children is bedtime prayers. There is something beautiful and unique about a father praying with his baby. You can actually start this when baby is in the womb before they are born. And once baby is here keep up the tradition in leading in prayer with you, mom and baby. Once your baby begins to sleep in their own bed continue to say a prayer before you lay them down. As your little ones grows they will join in on that prayer with dad. It’s a special precious time that is yours alone together with God! 

Car rides with Daddy

Many people have found memories of when their dad took them on car rides growing up. Don’t think your baby doesn’t notice when it’s just you two alone. They definitely do! Having that alone time out and about doing things together is a perfect way to bond with each other. Remember this isn’t just about baby bonding to you but you bonding with your baby. The more you interact (especially alone) with your baby the more attached you feel as a father. And if your baby is breastfed, contrary to what you may think baby doesn’t have to stay with mom always. You’ve got two hours before the little one needs to be fed again if they are exclusively breastfed and a quick trip is perfect for bonding time out of the house. Pick one thing to do that’s takes less than an hour including driving time. Grocery shopping, heading to the bank or a trip to the post office offers short ways to spend some time with your baby. Of course if they are bottle fed or mom pumps all need is formula and enough breast milk to feed your little one and you could take baby off mom’s hands for even longer. But don’t leave for too long Mom needs bonding time too! 

As you do activities with your baby, communicate with your baby and care for your baby the more you build memories and attachment you both need in this new walk of life that is fatherhood. We hope these ideas are a good jump start to creating a long lasting bond with your baby that is unique and yours alone! 

Father reading to his daughters

Thank YOU To Helpful Dads!

Published on by Johnnatta Giles4 Comments

“What is wrong with me?” I cry out.  My husband asks am I okay. I tell him that every night I’ve been feeling sick.. He says, “Go sit down and let me take care of this” . As he continues to prep and cook dinner, I without one second of protest walk into my room and tipped toed fall onto my bed. As I lay I can feel the pain and nausea melt away minute by minute. I’m exhausted. I’ve done too much on too little sleep. As I lay back I’m thanking God for the help my husband gives me. Without his willingness to help me whenever I need it, I don’t know how I could get through my days.

To my brothers, fathers. husbands and all that you are to the women in your life,

Rather she says it or not she needs you. A little help goes such a long way for us. Some of us (me included) enjoy being a mom and doing all the things that come with it. Sometimes that joy can blind us to our own exhaustion or even pain. We need to be seen too sometimes. We need for someone to see our needs before we know we need help like we do for everyone else every day. I’m not saying read her mind or she shouldn’t ever have to vocalize her needs, but be proactive sometimes. We need someone to step in and just stand beside us so we can have help too. And guys, please if you can do it within 15 minutes of us asking that would be great! Even if it’s to dry the dishes or prep the food. We need you. Can you bathe a baby while mom cooks? Or help your son fold clothes properly so mom doesn’t have to fix it later because… he’s learning. She would love to finish a chapter in her book instead of going back over the laundry later to make sure it fits properly.

To you it may just look like a stack of cotton towels, but to her, it’s her home. A home in which she has worked years to create and she is proud of every bit of it. As man and women we have different perspectives on life. That’s what makes us work so well together when we humble ourselves and be each other’s help mate’s. Thank you to all the men that do this already, keep it up dude! This life can throw the worst curveballs and she will always need you! But for those of you that don’t quite know what to do, from a mother and wife I hope this little letter helps you see her a bit  differently.

Your help changes everything in a day.! This life is so short to live it stuck in traditions of old. The past holds many treasure but also contains harmful cultures we shouldn’t be so quick to return to. This generation is changing things for the better! Let’s keep that going because a family that works together is so much stronger than ones that work among each other but separate. We as the new generation of parents can do it better and reap the rewards of a home with partners. And how much more will our children benefit from seeing both mom and dad working together for the common good of their lives? The rewards are powerful and endless! Thank you to all the dads that truly gets this!

What Pregnancy Centers Actually Do

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

This Monday instead of sharing my next episode for Christ & Culture I am sharing a video that I just made giving real facts about what the pregnancy center I volunteer for actually does. From my research, this is what a lot of pregnancy centers do around the country. Many people are not fully informed on what it is that we do and therefore there is a lot of misinformation that create confusion and fear in women and men. Unfortunately many who need what these centers offer don’t reach out it because of being told false information about how we operate. The good news is the community that my center is in is starting to understand what it is that we actually do because of us reaching out to the community and educating people on what we do. The growing interest to get involved is inspirational and now more referrals being made to our center. Knowledge is truly power so please share it with others. You never know who it may come by that really needs to hear it! Click the image to watch below!

The Culture & Christ Series will return next Monday!