“Read the words, pray and allow God to pour himself into all the vessels you’ve laid out before him.”
-Lisa Bevere “Lioness Arising”
This year I started new journeys with so much uncertainty. I can imagine what the widow thought when Elijah told her to go and collect all the jars she could get from her neighbors. She must have thought to herself “Doesn’t make sense but okay.” That’s how I felt when I set off to create my You Tube channel and began making changes to my photography business . I did not understand the whys and I was only told to do with no further instruction.
Throughout the process, revelations came with each obedient act. And in me the purpose of God began expand and create in ways I never knew was on the inside of me. And now the Lord has been calling me to pour my time into these vessels so He may provide for me in powerful ways.
But I miss My Father’s Symphony every moment I am away from it. But I am learning to let God fill the vessels He wants to fill and not hinder the spirit. I have a work to complete and only the Holy Spirit can help me do that. Only He knows the vessels that need to be poured into greatly in this season, so that I can receive all that He has for me.
I just want you to know that when I am away it is because of the Lord leading me away. But I will always come back when He leads me back. I will be sharing more often my videos here so you can come on the journey with me. And in everything may I inspire you to follow God with your full heart wherever He leads you. Rather that be in the form of a video or a written post, that is always my aim.
I am hoping to take some time to rest before the new year is here, sitting before the Lord and allowing Him to fill me up. So that everything I do is for His glory and His praise. May God bless you in this holiday season and I pray that the new year brings you closer to Him with everything you do.
In these end times as lies are spread like wild fire to choke out truth, let us not forget what our God says about who He is and who we are . Who we are as sinners and who we are as redeemed children in Jesus Christ. How we are to worship Him and how we can seek and find Him. I can’t even began to explain to you the countless useless arguments people have thrown at me to defend their version of God’s word. And I am sure you’ve seen and heard the media, certain groups or communities claim that they know the true God and He’s is okay with their lifestyles and choice of worship. My response as always is never my own truth and believer yours should not be either.
Do I need to say anymore than what the Word already says? Do I need to interpret, add or remove from our God’s words that has been preserved for thousands of years? I know better and I read so many times that He is the same today as He was yesterday. His law remains and no amount of time will change that law. No new “woke” generation will change who He is. And no old religion has authority over the covenant of our savior Jesus Christ.
My husband sent me these two scriptures that solidified everything the Holy Spirit has been leading me to do all the years of my life. Seeking wisdom and knowledge. Walking away from sinful people and my own sinful desires. Allowing Him to restore truth and life in me. It takes a warrior to stand up against the dark forces in this world. And we are all called to be one. We can no longer ignore the death in us. If we do not turn from the lies and defend the truth, we will soon join the grave with the living dead among us.
Job 28:12-28
But where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell? 13 No mortal comprehends its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living. 14 The deep says, “It is not in me”; the sea says, “It is not with me.” 15 It cannot be bought with the finest gold, nor can its price be weighed out in silver. 16 It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir, with precious onyx or lapis lazuli. 17 Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it, nor can it be had for jewels of gold. 18 Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies. 19 The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it; it cannot be bought with pure gold.
20 Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell? 21 It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds in the sky. 22 Destruction[a] and Death say, “Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.” 23 God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells, 24 for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens. 25 When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters, 26 when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm, 27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it. 28 And he said to the human race, “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.”
James 3:13
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure: then peace loving. considerate, submissive. full of mercy and good fruit. impartial and sincere. Peace makers who sow peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
After I had my son, whom I thought then would be my final child, I started to hunger for a deeper understanding for what womanhood in Christ really was. Keeping house, submitting to my husband and serving in my church and community, seemed to be what I found every where I searched for this wisdom. But I did all those things and yet who I was as a woman never surfaced inside of me. You see, I had no women to tell me or show me what womanhood was. All my life I longed for an older women to pass on her wisdom to me as I rapidly grew from little girl to young lady in a blink of an eye. To my dismay all the women in my life either abused me, abandoned me or just simply forgot about me.
After becoming a mother and years of healing that lead to many dilverances, I looked to the word of God. I started where a large majority of Christian women are referred to when seeking out this very wisdom, Proverbs 31:10 The Wife Of Noble Character. And although the scripture paints a beautiful description of a women whom embodies virtue, I felt that it isn’t at all what womanhood really is.
My first thought was Eve herself. When I decided to look at Eve I realized, well there’s not much to see. We don’t know nearly as much as I would love to know about both Adam and Eve. I’m nosy that way. So I reread the small part of her story over and over again. Moving onto other scripture sometimes and coming back to hers, and then one day, something captured my attention.
Whats in a name?
“Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all living”
In Genesis 3:20 I notice the first clue about Eve. She didn’t choose her name, but Adam did. I saw the pure reasons why Adam may have given her that name. With my whole heart I believe that he saw her for more than just a partner, a helper or someone he would be intimate with, he saw her as life itself in the flesh. Her name alone must have reminded her every day of the power she held. That power was given to her graciously from her Creator. Despite her betrayal, He made her to do only what He can do and that is the power to create and give life. That humbled my heart. God gave such a magnificent piece of Himself to women what does that say about me as a woman?
Realizing this gave me an appreciation for the fact that I as a women, hold such a powerful gift that no man could ever do, the gift to give life. Not just in child bearing but in heart, body and spirit. It created instantly a pride in me I never possessed before not even after I birthed my own children. Every time I choose to love and nurture another human being on earth I am naturally able to spark life into them. The moment I speak up for the lost and choose to love the broken, life is being created, through love, with each word, and each action.
That’s why its much more natural for us to do because it’s apart of who we are! That was the moment I saw differently how I could impact my household as well. By embracing this gift in me I now know how to pray over myself and my family in times of much needed spiritual warfare. Who says we’re not super woman? Okay maybe not that one but you know what I mean.
The Breath of Life
“With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to her brother Abel.
After reading this scripture in Genesis 4:1-2, I realized Eve knew who her God. She knew that He was her helper and her strength but she also knew by the birth of Abel, that God held their very life in His hands. Abel’s name has been said to mean “Breath” now I believe that’s exactly what it means. But every where I have researched it says his name was given, because like a breath he would not live long. I am not going to go into a rant on that vague speculation. But what I do know is that Eve knew how her own existence came into being.
I know good and well that child birth can give you a whole new perspective on life. It’s terrifying at worse and humbling all around. And I am sure once she went through it under the curse for the second time she knew that God is the giver of life and therefore named her son after the same Spirit that was breathed into her as well. Therefore his name most likely means “Breath” not because of a short life but because of the Life Giver.
Eve knew who her God was and that in Him, He creates life, death, darkness and light. He is able to save and He is able to destroy and there was nothing she went through that had not already passed through His hands. He’s got her back! Though Eve was a woman created to give and create life, she knew that without her God none of it would be possible. These two powerful lessons are the first I have learned about who God made me as a women.
I may have inherited a fallen flesh, but I am a Queen forevermore redeem by my Savior, restored to my former glory through the Creator.
I hold the power of life within myself and I am able to bring that life into my arms and in the world around me.
A power that creates love, unity and justice that leads to humble hearts and stories of forgiveness.
That same power allows me to be the head and never the tail. And to have full authority over everything God places into my hands.
It gives me the ability to no longer be the victim, but the warrior that fights for the freedom of others leading them to their own victory.
All of this is what Eve taught me and the Holy Spirit gave me. This is the woman that God sent his son to die on the cross so that we may be restored back to. Daughters of Zion behold your God and let Him bring you into true womanhood!
Last year I turned 30 years old and boy was I excited! I remember when I was a little girl, I always said that my 30’s would be my golden years. I had goals guys, big dreams and big goals. I wanted to be settled down, in my life, in myself and better off than what I was raised in. And I can proudly say that I have achieved that in many different ways. But my plans changed over the years, about 100 times as they do when your young. But as I got to know the real me, I realized that there was much more to womanhood than I knew.
I created the section I Am Woman here on my blog, to share the journey I have had as a christian women in today’s society. A place where I can unload as I continue this journey of womanhood that will go with me even into eternity. I will always be evolving and growing as a women of God and I have daily struggles that will help create the future me. I hope it inspires and blesses all who come across these posts and as always these are my opinions and thoughts. They are meant to encourage and to be shared so if your going through what I am, you know you’re not alone. I can’t promise what’s to come because honestly I don’t know. I will do my best to remain true to my heart and I will always be on the side of truth. May you, through my testimony and God’s love, come to do the same
Daughters of Zion let us all remember that the God of our youth, the God of our being and the God of our hearts, Loves us, Sees us, Hears us and Knows us.
Long ago I sleepily entered an old church in Downtown Cincinnati. It was Sunday and the early morning dew met with my black dress shoes as I entered the side door. This was not my favorite place. Unwillingly I had been here many times, but I had no idea that day would be different.
As a child church confused me and greatly terrified me. There was never a place more isolating to me than the place of worship. At the start of church we would first gather in the sanctuary. The sanctuary was where I felt more comfortable because the crowds swallowed me up. I could hide and not be seen and blend in. But Sunday school was a whole different story. There was not many kids there and being extremely shy I had not one friend. It was a constant reminder of how alone I really was and brought up my feelings of abandonment.
One Sunday a crowd of kids showed up. It must have been Easter Sunday because that was the only time our Sunday school room was so full. I did as I do in crowds and hid among the many excited kids waiting for the lesson to start. At the end of the presentation the leader began to speak of something I heard every Sunday after the lesson was done. Salvation. But this time my ears were opened and I met my God for the first time.
I received salvation in a baptist church around the age of 7. It was just me and the Lord and no one knew about it. And as I grew up with a new awakened Spirit in me, no one also knew the struggle I had with the church itself. There was my love for it, because it was the only public place I could feel the spirit of God move and hear the word of God preached. The only place I saw people gather and encourage each other no matter how rare those occasions were throughout the year.
But as I grew up, in my heart, there also grew a hatred for it. The pressures each denomination placed on me to be what they said was Holy. The hypocritical people that were open about their sin, causing constant turmoil and pain in the church walls. So at the age 16 I ran away from all forms of congregation. I was angry but in truth, I set off to find out who God was on my own. To this day I have never regretted that.
But when I was 22 years old I rejoined a congregation with my husband and first daughter. That church split and we went with those who left. Soon we were given heartbreaking news that the pastor was giving up. And so I found myself confused and lost not knowing where to go. We eventually settled into a new church home where we served for a few years only to be, this time, called away from that congregation. It was exhausting to say the least. And I see now more than ever, I am not alone in my experiences. I know many of you have been hurt by people in a congregation. And I get that. In fact, it was professing Christians that betrayed me, used me and rejected me.
So believe me when I say I truly understand. I want you to know that your feelings and pain does matter. I would never tell you that your wrong for feeling what you do. But do not let you pain overtake you to the point where you turn your back on God. God is not the church and I can say for a fact that He would never call you anywhere that would hinder your relationship with Him.
I am not saying to do what I did. My family and I chose to do what God called us to do. But what I am saying is, never let the pain of what someone has done to you be the basis of your decisions. My first break from the church was not based off my anger, it was my hunger to know who God really was. As daughters and sons of God, we are to be led by the Spirit not by our feelings. To those who do judge others for leaving the church and never returning, we also have no right to judge what God calls His own to do.
If the Lord calls you to a church I want to share with you what He showed me: Jesus never commands me to be apart of a church. Men may, but He does not. But if He does call me to be apart of a church I have to understand that the church has nothing to do with my relationship with God. A church is a place to serve and do the will of God no matter how I feel about the people there or what they try to do to me. I am there for Him and Him only, therefore my leaving is according to His purpose for me.
Because of me understanding this, I was able to serve in a church with my full heart until I was eventually called away. I will not return to a congregation, not because I have been hurt, but because I go where God leads me only. God is wherever I am and my place of worship is forever held in my heart. Though I was in a church when I received salvation, the fact still remains that it has always been just me and my Abba from the beginning. And that will be all that matters in the end.
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