Tag: hope in Christ

New Section + I Am Woman

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

Last year I turned 30 years old and boy was I excited! I remember when I was a little girl, I always said that my 30’s would be my golden years. I had goals guys, big dreams and big goals. I wanted to be settled down, in my life, in myself and better off than what I was raised in. And I can proudly say that I have achieved that in many different ways. But my plans changed over the years, about 100 times as they do when your young. But as I got to know the real me, I realized that there was much more to womanhood than I knew.

I created the section I Am Woman here on my blog, to share the journey I have had as a christian women in today’s society. A place where I can unload as I continue this journey of womanhood that will go with me even into eternity. I will always be evolving and growing as a women of God and I have daily struggles that will help create the future me. I hope it inspires and blesses all who come across these posts and as always these are my opinions and thoughts. They are meant to encourage and to be shared so if your going through what I am, you know you’re not alone. I can’t promise what’s to come because honestly I don’t know. I will do my best to remain true to my heart and I will always be on the side of truth. May you, through my testimony and God’s love, come to do the same

Daughters of Zion let us all remember that the God of our youth, the God of our being and the God of our hearts, Loves us, Sees us, Hears us and Knows us.

Much Love

J.S

My Joy In Mae Creations Photography https://my-joy-in-mae-creations.business.site/

The Hate I keep

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment

From the time I was a young girl and even today I have hated myself. That is common among abused children and it takes us a long time to heal from all the damage to get to a place of self love. But the way the world tells us to love ourselves never works. A career, freedom, fun, self expression and down time does not create love for ourselves.

I know, because I tried it all only to end up hating myself more. The first step to self love is facing your past and owning your truth. Then allowing God to show you where He wants to change you along the way. I serve a wonderful God that wants us to love Him but also wants us to love ourselves. And if I want to love my family well and fully it starts with me. Here I share my past struggles and my present truth. I am learning to face it all so that love for myself will one day be my reality. And if you feel the same too I am praying that very thing for you.

Psalms of my Heart

Who should I be?

Separated from the one who should’ve taught me

She haunts my dreams even today

A bond that never breaks

A face I wanted as my own

Because I never loved the one I owned

Who should I be?

Not the fists that beats me

Or the palms that choke me

I swore one day if I escaped

I would never live in hate

Still the hate showed up

It came without permission

But I kept it without suspicion

Who I am?

My joy or pain became my worth

Changing faster than seasons

Accompanied by fear

This all becomes my identity

And there is no free flying here

Have I come to a point of no return?

Is it inevitable that in the end I become unlovable?

How can I expect anyone to love me?

When the fact remains, that I hate me

The Ocean Valley

Published on by Johnnatta GilesLeave a comment
When the sea moves back to the deep, I will sink and crash into You

I wrote this on our way home from Virginia, where I learned again to release my control over my life and give it back to God. From recent traumas I had picked back up what I had laid down because of fear. I struggled with myself and God because I lost so much and the thought of letting more go was hard for me to swallow. Before this trip I had been giving Him control again little by little and hoping He would give me mercy. I am so glad He is rich in it because I was struggling so hard with my flesh. But one night on this trip the battle ended and I once again rested in familiar waters. There will be moments like these in our lives. It is important to understand that you are human and will frequently go through trials that may test your faith greatly. You may have to re do some things you’ve already done. But don’t ever think these are setbacks in your faith. For some seasons there may be some familiar bridges we have to cross again, but once you cross them they lead to another place you never were before.

Psalms of My Heart #3

No desire is more greater

Than to be at the shores you call me to

No hunger is more fiercer

Than to be able to climb the mountains where I can hear You

Yes this is where my heart sleeps

Where I lay it all before You

When the sea moves back to the deep

I will sink and crash into You

When I am surrounded by hills in the valley

I will not shake for I choose to see

Only You can make something that beautiful in me

I’m moving from what was

And now I’m accepting what is

I haven’t always listened

But now Lord I am all ears

I have walked far

This journey has been so long

But no matter where I go

No matter what I see

Your home is always where I belong

J.S Giles

When I am surrounded by hills in the valley, I will not shake

No More Tears

Published on by Johnnatta Giles3 Comments

These past three years my family and I have been through the fire. I had hoped that the day the refining was over we would be standing on the mountain refreshed and restored! But the Lord brought us to the valley where our faith was tested. After so much loss and betrayal by the ones we loved, we had a pain that inevitable led us to turn on each other and it threatened the security of our own home. I cried every night for months on end wondering what the Lord was doing and why we were going through this after everything we had been through. Were we called to this exodus only to be brought to destruction? Would the pain tear our little family apart? What about the visions of our future? Where You showed us where You were taking us? How can we get there when we are barely hanging on here?

I was about to give up. I was so sick with worry and pain that I barely had the faith to speak life into my situation. But then the Lord said to me “I only ask you to trust me.” When He said that to me there was no doubt in my mind that was all I had left was trust in my Father. “Yes Lord! I trust you. I put my trust only in You. But that’s all I have.” It took me awhile to fully let go of control but once I did, God moved in our home in a mighty way. One day my husband called me while I was at home and he said something I was not expecting. “Things are going to change and get better from here on out! We take hold of it and believe that’s exactly whats going to happen!” I remember the pain leaving me in that very moment. My husband had took up his authority over his household in the name of Jesus Christ! From that moment on things changed in our marriage and relationship with our children. Our household began to sing again and laughter replaced mourning.

When things are hard in your home and you ask the questions I asked, remember that if God brought you together He knew exactly what you all would walk through. But He also knew what He would do to deliver you from it all. These moments will always come. They have a purpose for something greater you can’t understand now. I could have never known that going through that I would learn some powerful truths about spiritual warfare and prayer that would protect my family and I against the schemes of the enemy. Or I would come to fully understand myself as a fallen woman and how to pray over my own self to be used greatly to change the atmosphere in our home. Going through that season of our lives brought me into what I know now. That God is faithful and what He brings us through as a family is apart of our story and brings us closer to Him. In Him there is no separating us and I do believe that our Clan can do anything in His name! He is truly the breath of our lives and I am so grateful that my days now end in praise and no longer in tears.

Our God Delivers

Our God is Faithful

Our God is Greater

May God restore your family according to His will and in His timing in Jesus Christ’s name. So Be It.