One topic I would love to dive deep into on MFS is my experiences with motherhood. I cannot even begin to count how many times strangers have come up me (and still do) and tell me how beautiful and well behaved my children are. Deepening on the conversation and the time I have I kindly thank them and tell them it’s because I do my job. with a lot of hard work. Once my mom asked me how I did it with all the children I have and I told her point blank, THE LORD. Although these explanations can be seen as generalizations, in reality these simple responses hold much stories, revelations and true spiritual maturity on both my part and my husband’s.
Is Womanhood and Motherhood two separate things? In reality the are one and the same
I heard a saying, maybe a few, that motherhood and womanhood are two different things. Have you heard the whispers of this belief? It was loud and clear in my teens and even as a young woman. But I don’t hear it as much around me as I used to. But everyone once in awhile it pops up online. Oh the world of technology where nothing is really forgotten!
I’m a bit rebellious against the world, doing the opposite of what I’m told to do and instead embarking on journeys to figure things out for myself. I have been called stubborn and I have bluntly agreed. I can be taught but I’d rather do the teaching. In order for me to impart wisdom I have to seek truth for myself. And this was one of those things.
Was I no longer a woman when I became a mother? As I raised the first when she was my only, I came to the realization that, a full womb does not mark the end of me but creates a stronger me, if I let it. Motherhood has raised a lionesses on the inside of me I never thought I could be. It taught me in fact how powerful women can be. How powerful I can be. Motherhood is an added bonus to womanhood. In order to become a mother you must first be a woman. It’s apart of the journey for those who choose it and it can take on many forms.
I never had to give up all of me to be the best mother I could be. Things change like they do with any life decision. I shifted, I molded and even sometimes I had to go into a type of metamorphosis. Becoming something new so I could expand my view on life and my capacity to love and learn. The parts of me that died away after I held those small fist and counted every tiny toe were replaced with fresh new eyes that saw wonder in a new way. I had changed for the better. But much still remained and I still remain true to those things that will always be apart of who I am.
Don’t be afraid to be who you are in front of your children. In truth we should be growing with them while raising them but not in self denial. Self sacrifice is good for the common good of you both. But if you find the need to make changes that surly is for the best for your child just know that is not a form of self denial. Too often women fall into this trap and warrior women it brings on nothing but regret shame and unfulfillment which inevitable trickles over into to your mothering.
My children created the woman I am today. I have watched them grow and they have seen me at my rawest truest form. They know full well that I am their mama but I am also my own separate person. Sometimes as women we need to remember that for ourselves. I am proud to be both a woman and mother. They are apart of who I am and always will be.
Be proud, stand tall.
oxoxo
Johnnatta Giles | Owner of VC
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