If you ever met me you would know right away that my faith is my life line. I struggled with my identity my entire young life and the only thing that remained the same was my faith. But I wanted to know deeply who I really was and also who I was as a woman. As a young girl I grew up not fully understanding how to really become a woman. Was it sexuality? Was it woman nature within me? What really made me a woman? I became a mother before I even knew the answer to that question. Prayer took the lead in my discovery and the Word brought me little understanding. It was then in my spirit I knew I would have to walk this out organically.
What Makes A Woman?
It’s not so much physiology. I couldn’t look at myself and just see what woman I was. No, I discovered it’s spirituality that really made me the woman I am and then wanted to become. In the depths of my soul what would I find there? Well, some terrifying things as I dug through the surface, but as I began to dig deeper, I found the most delicious treasures. Things hidden in me I never knew existed. There was power, strength, love, weakness and beautiful brokenness that turned out to be the most beautiful parts of the woman in me. I will most likely spend the rest of my life putting those pieces together but it is an Odyssey I am greatly enjoying the fruits of. The journey is transforming the heart of me with every breath, every year that leaves me and wisdom is growing like deep roots of a tree.
Bering a woman means being all that God created us to be. Embracing all of feminimty that’s unique and loving the body we are walking in. Allowing the Spirit to bring us to life and cultvating the very essence of our gifts in Christ. Letting our light shine and not allowing the enemy to use our gifts for our destruction. Being our best advocates instead of our own worst enemy. Lifting other women up in sisterhood but also not being afraid to speak the truth which sets them free. Leading with our men with swords in hand and when the battle comes, suit up in our armor of faith and deafeat the enemy and win the war together, This is womanhood spiritually. And every year I’m learning more and more.
Without my faith I would have never discovered all the gifts in me and all the lack. I discovered the path to something fierce. Behind me He was there cheering me on and loving me.
Don’t stop at the outward, not even the surface once you truly begin your discovery. Dig deep and find the core of the trueness of woman inside of you.
One topic I would love to dive deep into on MFS is my experiences with motherhood. I cannot even begin to count how many times strangers have come up me (and still do) and tell me how beautiful and well behaved my children are. Deepening on the conversation and the time I have I kindly thank them and tell them it’s because I do my job. with a lot of hard work. Once my mom asked me how I did it with all the children I have and I told her point blank, THE LORD. Although these explanations can be seen as generalizations, in reality these simple responses hold much stories, revelations and true spiritual maturity on both my part and my husband’s.
Is Womanhood and Motherhood two separate things? In reality the are one and the same
I heard a saying, maybe a few, that motherhood and womanhood are two different things. Have you heard the whispers of this belief? It was loud and clear in my teens and even as a young woman. But I don’t hear it as much around me as I used to. But everyone once in awhile it pops up online. Oh the world of technology where nothing is really forgotten!
I’m a bit rebellious against the world, doing the opposite of what I’m told to do and instead embarking on journeys to figure things out for myself. I have been called stubborn and I have bluntly agreed. I can be taught but I’d rather do the teaching. In order for me to impart wisdom I have to seek truth for myself. And this was one of those things.
Was I no longer a woman when I became a mother? As I raised the first when she was my only, I came to the realization that, a full womb does not mark the end of me but creates a stronger me, if I let it. Motherhood has raised a lionesses on the inside of me I never thought I could be. It taught me in fact how powerful women can be. How powerful I can be. Motherhood is an added bonus to womanhood. In order to become a mother you must first be a woman. It’s apart of the journey for those who choose it and it can take on many forms.
I never had to give up all of me to be the best mother I could be. Things change like they do with any life decision. I shifted, I molded and even sometimes I had to go into a type of metamorphosis. Becoming something new so I could expand my view on life and my capacity to love and learn. The parts of me that died away after I held those small fist and counted every tiny toe were replaced with fresh new eyes that saw wonder in a new way. I had changed for the better. But much still remained and I still remain true to those things that will always be apart of who I am.
Don’t be afraid to be who you are in front of your children. In truth we should be growing with them while raising them but not in self denial. Self sacrifice is good for the common good of you both. But if you find the need to make changes that surly is for the best for your child just know that is not a form of self denial. Too often women fall into this trap and warrior women it brings on nothing but regret shame and unfulfillment which inevitable trickles over into to your mothering.
My children created the woman I am today. I have watched them grow and they have seen me at my rawest truest form. They know full well that I am their mama but I am also my own separate person. Sometimes as women we need to remember that for ourselves. I am proud to be both a woman and mother. They are apart of who I am and always will be.
I am excited to share my first ever ministry video forLivingWoman+ The Real On Womanhood. It took a lot of courage to study these coming subjects and challenge modern Christian doctrine in order to bring us back to original will of God for womanhood. I hope it inspires you to seek the truth in your own walk with the Lord and as always never take my word for it! Get out your Bible, be led by the Holy Spirit and do your research! May God bless you!
After I had my son, whom I thought then would be my final child, I started to hunger for a deeper understanding for what womanhood in Christ really was. Keeping house, submitting to my husband and serving in my church and community, seemed to be what I found every where I searched for this wisdom. But I did all those things and yet who I was as a woman never surfaced inside of me. You see, I had no women to tell me or show me what womanhood was. All my life I longed for an older women to pass on her wisdom to me as I rapidly grew from little girl to young lady in a blink of an eye. To my dismay all the women in my life either abused me, abandoned me or just simply forgot about me.
After becoming a mother and years of healing that lead to many dilverances, I looked to the word of God. I started where a large majority of Christian women are referred to when seeking out this very wisdom, Proverbs 31:10 The Wife Of Noble Character. And although the scripture paints a beautiful description of a women whom embodies virtue, I felt that it isn’t at all what womanhood really is.
My first thought was Eve herself. When I decided to look at Eve I realized, well there’s not much to see. We don’t know nearly as much as I would love to know about both Adam and Eve. I’m nosy that way. So I reread the small part of her story over and over again. Moving onto other scripture sometimes and coming back to hers, and then one day, something captured my attention.
Whats in a name?
“Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all living”
In Genesis 3:20 I notice the first clue about Eve. She didn’t choose her name, but Adam did. I saw the pure reasons why Adam may have given her that name. With my whole heart I believe that he saw her for more than just a partner, a helper or someone he would be intimate with, he saw her as life itself in the flesh. Her name alone must have reminded her every day of the power she held. That power was given to her graciously from her Creator. Despite her betrayal, He made her to do only what He can do and that is the power to create and give life. That humbled my heart. God gave such a magnificent piece of Himself to women what does that say about me as a woman?
Realizing this gave me an appreciation for the fact that I as a women, hold such a powerful gift that no man could ever do, the gift to give life. Not just in child bearing but in heart, body and spirit. It created instantly a pride in me I never possessed before not even after I birthed my own children. Every time I choose to love and nurture another human being on earth I am naturally able to spark life into them. The moment I speak up for the lost and choose to love the broken, life is being created, through love, with each word, and each action.
That’s why its much more natural for us to do because it’s apart of who we are! That was the moment I saw differently how I could impact my household as well. By embracing this gift in me I now know how to pray over myself and my family in times of much needed spiritual warfare. Who says we’re not super woman? Okay maybe not that one but you know what I mean.
The Breath of Life
“With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to her brother Abel.
After reading this scripture in Genesis 4:1-2, I realized Eve knew who her God. She knew that He was her helper and her strength but she also knew by the birth of Abel, that God held their very life in His hands. Abel’s name has been said to mean “Breath” now I believe that’s exactly what it means. But every where I have researched it says his name was given, because like a breath he would not live long. I am not going to go into a rant on that vague speculation. But what I do know is that Eve knew how her own existence came into being.
I know good and well that child birth can give you a whole new perspective on life. It’s terrifying at worse and humbling all around. And I am sure once she went through it under the curse for the second time she knew that God is the giver of life and therefore named her son after the same Spirit that was breathed into her as well. Therefore his name most likely means “Breath” not because of a short life but because of the Life Giver.
Eve knew who her God was and that in Him, He creates life, death, darkness and light. He is able to save and He is able to destroy and there was nothing she went through that had not already passed through His hands. He’s got her back! Though Eve was a woman created to give and create life, she knew that without her God none of it would be possible. These two powerful lessons are the first I have learned about who God made me as a women.
I may have inherited a fallen flesh, but I am a Queen forevermore redeem by my Savior, restored to my former glory through the Creator.
I hold the power of life within myself and I am able to bring that life into my arms and in the world around me.
A power that creates love, unity and justice that leads to humble hearts and stories of forgiveness.
That same power allows me to be the head and never the tail. And to have full authority over everything God places into my hands.
It gives me the ability to no longer be the victim, but the warrior that fights for the freedom of others leading them to their own victory.
All of this is what Eve taught me and the Holy Spirit gave me. This is the woman that God sent his son to die on the cross so that we may be restored back to. Daughters of Zion behold your God and let Him bring you into true womanhood!
Last year I turned 30 years old and boy was I excited! I remember when I was a little girl, I always said that my 30’s would be my golden years. I had goals guys, big dreams and big goals. I wanted to be settled down, in my life, in myself and better off than what I was raised in. And I can proudly say that I have achieved that in many different ways. But my plans changed over the years, about 100 times as they do when your young. But as I got to know the real me, I realized that there was much more to womanhood than I knew.
I created the section I Am Woman here on my blog, to share the journey I have had as a christian women in today’s society. A place where I can unload as I continue this journey of womanhood that will go with me even into eternity. I will always be evolving and growing as a women of God and I have daily struggles that will help create the future me. I hope it inspires and blesses all who come across these posts and as always these are my opinions and thoughts. They are meant to encourage and to be shared so if your going through what I am, you know you’re not alone. I can’t promise what’s to come because honestly I don’t know. I will do my best to remain true to my heart and I will always be on the side of truth. May you, through my testimony and God’s love, come to do the same
Daughters of Zion let us all remember that the God of our youth, the God of our being and the God of our hearts, Loves us, Sees us, Hears us and Knows us.
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